


dispossessed, taken host

by bluerthanyou



Category: Among Us (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood, Knives, Lots of Murder, M/M, Murder, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Violence, big tw for this fic, crewmates die, honestly this is the whackest fic ever, inaccuracies about space, my fav combo, not advising you read this if that makes you uncomfortable, very slow, you dont have to know the fandom to read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:16:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27534382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerthanyou/pseuds/bluerthanyou
Summary: “Well, you’re a coward for not killing me by now. It’s your job, isn’t it? To kill me?” Alex tightens his fingers over Lewis’s. He’s taunting him with words, trying to get him to crack. Lewis knows Alex doesn’t really want to die, especially with that blown-out look in his eye. Lewis knows that it means something else entirely.
Relationships: Crewmate/Impostor (Among Us), Green/Pink (Among Us), Lewis Buchan/Alex Elmslie
Comments: 14
Kudos: 47





	dispossessed, taken host

**Author's Note:**

  * For [centaurora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/centaurora/gifts).



> so i wrote this in about three weeks with hardly any plan, so everything in this fic is just word vomit. i'm not and don't claim to be a good author, this is just a side hobby that i enjoy. i'm aware this doesn't make a great deal of sense, but please spare me lmao :)
> 
> (( me and @centaurora brainstormed this fic at like 4am a few weeks back, and it wouldn't have been possible without them. they came up with a TON of amazing ideas that i've used in this, so PLEASE check out their fics too! ))
> 
> title from spectre by radiohead. i feel like it fits the vibes of the fic.

Alex is squeezing his eyes shut and gripping his hands around the shoulder restraints when he feels someone beside him lay a hand on his shoulder.

“You good?” The voice says, muffled through a helmet. 

Alex turns to look, and it’s Blue, sitting in the next seat to him. They were placed in the same group for training a couple of months back, and Alex knew and liked him a lot. He admired Blue’s confidence and ability to call anyone out if they seemed suspicious, whereas Alex struggled to call a meeting during training, in fear of being judged for seeing something as suspicious when it actually wasn’t. But Blue had been nice to him throughout the entire thing, reassuring Alex that the mission would be successful and they’d all come back alive. Blue’s real name was Will, and Alex’s eyes flicker down to the embroidered name tag on his chest to see what his surname was. _Oh, yeah,_ Alex thinks. _Will Lenney. 110396._

“Yeah,” Alex attempts through pursed lips. “Just…not a fan of the feeling.”

“It’s okay, we’ve done the hard part,” Will says to him, face earnest through the visor of his blue helmet. “Take off was successful, now we just wait for someone to stabilise the steering and then we can leave the launch seats.” Alex has always been grateful for how good Will is at comforting him when he’s terrified something will go wrong. 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Alex breathes. “Thank you, Blue.”

“You’re welcome, Pink,” Will says, grinning at him. “You’re doin’ great.”

There’s nothing that Alex feels more anxious about than when the intercom goes off in the launch room. There’s a muffled sound as the microphone gets picked up, and Alex holds his breath. He knows it’s silly to worry, but what if something is wrong with the ship already?

“I’ve just stabilised the navigation and the oxygen levels are neutral,” George’s voice says, slightly tinny through the rather inadequate speakers in the room. “You can all leave your seats now.” Alex has never felt more relieved to hear George’s voice, a little monotonous like usual, but nice to hear nonetheless.

With excited hands, Alex unbuckles the restraints in his lap and shoulders before he’s climbing out of the seat he’s been sitting in for hours. He smooths down the bright pink of his suit and turns to see how sweaty and horrible he looks in the mirror. However, he’s excited now that he knows the ship is safe to wander around in. He can actually do what he’s been looking forward to for years, ever since he signed up to the program.

Will looks excited too and gives him a reassuring smile. “I told you it would be fine,” he says and wraps an arm around his shoulder. “We can just get on with the mission now, eh?”

The doors to the launch room unlock and both Alex and Will leave, immediately being greeted by a huge arched entryway, the words _‘Welcome to The Skeld’_ embossed above it. Alex feels a huge sense of pride as he and Will walk underneath it, because this means everything to Alex. He’s an astronaut now, something that he’s wanted to be ever since he was a kid. And The Skeld has been a big deal ever since he can remember. He can remember himself as a child watching the first launch on TV, seeing all the crewmates in their bright colours as they counted down to take-off. And now, almost fifteen years later, he’s made it here himself.

He can see all the other crewmates filing through the narrow hallways, talking amongst themselves. Alex knows he should try to get on with all of them during this mission, but he knows it’s going to get annoying having to spend months in close proximity with nine other people. But at least he has Will and George.

They all gather in the cafeteria, a jumble of different colours surrounding the centre table. Alex can see the camera in the corner of the room is streaming the mission live to some TV channel back on Earth. He knows that he has do to all the previous Pinks proud, and he needs to stay alive and well for them. 

Alex looks around at them all, recognises most of the faces, but about three of them he hasn’t seen before, and he wonders if HQ had decided to get a few replacements before the mission started. He notices George standing on the other side of the table, clad in orange as he’d requested at colour assignment. Alex smiles at him and George nods in acknowledgement in return. He’d missed him in the launch, because they’d been placed in different rooms, but it was nice to see him now, all pink-cheeked from navigating the ship into space by himself. Alex feels proud of George, because he’s known for years that it’s what he’s wanted to do as well. And there’s nothing that he loves more than the fact that they’re getting to do this together.

Purple leans across the table to retrieve a piece of paper. If Alex can remember correctly, he’s pretty sure that his name is James, because he’s friends with Will. Alex squints to look at his name tag, and yes. _James Marriott, 070797._

He unfolds the paper. “I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to read this aloud,” he announces to the group. “It’s addressed to us from HQ.”

Everybody nods, interested to hear what the letter says.

“ _Welcome, crewmates, to The Skeld,”_ James reads. “ _If you’re reading this then the take-off was successful, and you should all be able to walk freely around the vicinity. You all have tasks to complete in order to maintain the stability of the ship, and they have been equally divided among crewmates. If they are not completed and something goes wrong with the ship, then this is your responsibility, and not anybody else’s._

 _“You have three crewmates who you didn’t see at your training,”_ James continues. _“They were trained externally at our sister company Exis, but have the correct knowledge and understanding to assist you in your mission. These crewmates are wearing Lime, Green and Black. Please ensure that you make them feel welcome.”_

_“See you on the other side, crewmates. Signed, Mira HQ.”_

James finishes reading, and the crewmates clap and cheer, because they’ve made it. It’s been years of hard work and they’re finally on the ship. George, Alex and Will grin at each other from across the table, and it feels like everything they’ve worked for since they were kids.

Will cracks open a bottle of champagne and pours it into ten glasses, hands them around to the crewmates. “Cmon, it’s a momentous occasion,” Will says, grinning cheekily. At his remark, they shrug and take off their helmets, unveiling a multitude of pink-cheeked faces and messy hair. 

Will, George and Alex sit in a group in the cafeteria and clink their champagne glasses together.

“Who were you with in launch?” Alex asks George, taking a sip of champagne. He dislikes the taste but it’s alcohol and he hasn’t drank for about a month.

“This American kid,” George says, takes a sip of his champagne. “Black, over there.” He points at the crewmate in black, standing with both Lime and Green and chatting absently. “Told me all about how he’s snuck a couple grams of pot onto the ship if we wanted to smoke with him.” 

Will laughs at this, nearly splashing his champagne over the tiled floor. “Damn, good on the lad. I’ll be takin’ him up on that one.”

There’s one glass of champagne left untouched on the table once they’ve all finished drinking, and Will looks perplexed. 

“Who didn’t drink their champagne?” He asks, looking around at the crewmates. 

“Me,” says somebody, and Alex turns his head to see where the voice came from. “I don’t drink, but somebody else can have mine,” Lime says, looking around at them with a charming smile. Without his helmet, he’s quite handsome, sporting a head of curls and particularly broad shoulders. Alex thinks he may have to ask him if he’s single at some point on this mission. 

Will shrugs. “Fair enough, any offers?” He holds out the glass to anybody who’ll take it, and within a second Black has grabbed the glass and downed it before Alex can blink. They all cheer at this, and he feels the alcohol hit his brain. He’s actually happy for the first time in months.

*

It’s about twenty minutes before Alex is due to retire to bed when he hears somebody enter the electrical room behind him. 

“Hiya,” Alex says. “Just uploading files to HQ right now. Might be a sec before this station’s free.”

He looks up momentarily and Black is leaning up against one of the walls, watching him work. “You got ten minutes to spare after you’ve done that?” he asks, eyebrows raised. “I’ve got a joint if you wanna share it around out the back.”

Alex raises his eyebrows in return. “Already? You work fast, Black.”

Black laughs at this. “C’mon, Pink, you know you want to.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “Fine, but don’t tell HQ. I’m not trying to get ejected into space.” His file finally uploads and there’s a beeping sound that comes from the computer. “Done.”

He finds himself passing around a joint with Black, Will, George and Will’s other friend James in a part of the ship where the cameras aren’t running and watching their every move. He finds out that Black’s real name is Matty and that the only reason he joined the mission was so that his parents would stop moaning at him for smoking inside the house. 

“So you’re telling me,” Alex laughs, “You wanted to smoke weed in peace so badly that you trained to be on The Skeld?”

Matty nods, holds out his hands and takes it. Will just howls with laughter and proceeds to take the piss out of him for a solid five minutes, which is an all-time high for even him. They’re all laughing at Matty being stupid when they hear the clanking sound of footsteps coming down the hallway, a now-familiar sound, even on the first day of their mission. 

Lime comes into view from the hallway, and he gives them a questioning look as he walks by, stopping in front of where they’re hidden from view. “Why are you all hiding in there?” He asks, his thick Scottish brogue practically music to Alex’s ears. 

James just holds up the joint as an answer. 

“Had some free time,” Matty shrugs. “You wanna smoke with us?” 

Lime shakes his head, and his messy curls cavort over his forehead as he does. “Smoke is bad for me,” he says. “But thank you anyway.”

Matty frowns. “It’s just weed, man. Harmless.”

Alex starts to feel guilty at Matty practically guilt-tripping Lime into smoking with them. “Hey, if he doesn’t want to then it’s fine,” Alex says, giving Lime a sympathetic look. “Don’t force him.”

Lime notices him at that, and locks eyes with him in a way that makes Alex feel small and scrutinised. “Thank you, Pink,” he says sincerely, throwing him an endearing but wonky smile.

“Hey, you walk fast,” Will says to Lime. “I was on security cameras and saw you all the way up in Weapons not that long ago.” He takes the joint from James and takes a drag. “You teleporting or something, mate?”

Lime just laughs at this. “Well, uh, I’ve got long legs.”

They all shrug and continue smoking, and Lime has vanished from view by the time Alex peers into the corridor again. _He really does have long legs_ , Alex muses, but then turns back to where they’re all talking again, and doesn’t think any more of it. 

“He’s a bit weird, don’t you think?” Matty says after taking a drag, smoke clouding from his mouth. “Who denies weed?”

They laugh at this, but Alex feels sorry for Lime. Maybe he’s got lung problems, or just doesn’t want to be stoned while there’s an essential mission occurring on this very ship. He noticed him turn down the champagne earlier that evening and, in Alex’s opinion, it’s valid that he wants to stay sober throughout this mission, and it’s probably a good idea to be level-headed.

*

That night, Alex is awoken at around 3am by a loud repeating buzzing sound that causes him to shoot up in bed, his year-long training preparing him for any negative consequence on the ship. He sees Will jolt awake in the bed next to him and give him the same worried look. 

“Fuck,” Will says. “Think the reactor’s failed.” He jumps from his small bunk bed and is pulling on his blue suit before Alex can even blink. He looks panicked, and it sets off a similar reaction inside Alex’s gut. 

“Shit,” Alex says, and he scrambles out of his rock-hard bed to where he’s hung his pink suit on a wall hook. George and James are suddenly awake too on the beds below them, leaping out of bed to find their helmets and suits. “We have thirty seconds.” 

They’re dressed in less than ten seconds and are sprinting out of the door in the direction of the reactor, Alex’s heart pounding in his chest because _what if they’re not fast enough?_ The sound of their feet clanging against the metal of the floor is loud enough to wake anybody on the ship. _Trust something to happen the first night,_ Alex finds himself thinking. 

The door to the reactor room is shoved open with incessant force, and Alex isn’t thinking, just blindly following commands he was taught when they were in training. He’s pressing his hand against the scanner, hands nearly shaking in his haste, and turns around to see George is doing the exact same with his hand on the other side. 

_Thank fuck,_ he thinks, when the reactor makes the noise to signify it has been stabilised. He lets out a shaky exhale, sliding down the wall onto the floor. If they were any later then something even worse might have happened.

Will stands in the middle of the room looking relieved. “You okay, Pink?” He asks, eyes worried at Alex’s position on the floor of the reactor room. 

Alex just nods. “Yeah,” he croaks out, heart still racing in his chest. 

“Orange?” Will asks, directing his gaze now to where George is leaning up against the wall, trying to catch his breath. Alex can see his cheeks are ruddy from running all that way from the dorms. 

George nods through an exhale, sticks up a thumb. “Yeah, just scared the shit out of me,” he explains. 

Then the six other crewmates are bursting through the door and crowding into the reactor room, considerably more out of breath than them.

“Thank God you fixed it,” Lime says, relief in his voice. “We couldn’t get there fast enough.”

Will rolls his eyes at this, leans against a wall with his arms folded. “Should’ve ran a bit bloody faster then, Lime.” Alex has noticed that Will, although one of the nicest people he’s ever met, cannot go ten minutes without picking a fight with somebody. In training, he’d spent most of the hours watching Will yell at somebody for acting up. 

“Our dorms are on the other side of the ship to yours,” Lime argues. “You know this, Blue.”

Will just shakes his head and rolls his eyes a little. “Yeah, yeah. I guess it’s over now, so forget it.”

All ten of the crewmates then file out of the room, and it locks behind them, the pressing sound of the door being vacuumed shut a relieving sound to Alex’s ears. _Thank God they were fast enough._

“Sorry about Blue,” Alex says to Green as they make their way back over the ship. “He’s grumpy when he gets woken up.” Alex knows very well that Will just picks fights to regain some sort of control over his life, and it makes him feel good when he knows he has some sort of authority over the situation.

Green laughs at this, pats his shoulder. “It’s all good, man. I can understand that.”

“We haven’t spoken yet, have we?” Alex asks. “You were trained at Exis, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Green says. “Me, Lime and Black were all supposed to be crewmates on The Falcon but it had a few issues before launch and they had to transfer a few people to a different mission, who ended up being us.”

“That’s valid. I never caught your real name, though,” Alex asks. “I’m Alex.”

Green holds out a gloved hand. “Cam. Nice to meet you.” He’s grinning at Alex through his helmet, and Alex can tell that he’s a nice kid, although maybe a little virtuous. Alex needs to stay on good terms with as many people as he can, because even the thought of having an argument with one of the crewmates sends dread swirling down his spine. 

*

A week or so later, Alex is completing his tasks in the navigation room. He’s just finished uploading the files from his computer to the system and is about to start working on charting the course of the mission when the intercom beeps above his head. 

“ _You wanna work any slower, Pink?”_ says a muffled voice through the speaker. 

Alex gapes before turning around to the security camera, flashing red in the corner of the room, and presenting them with his middle finger. 

There’s a chorus of laughs from the intercom and Alex just mock-angrily shakes his fist at them. “ _Fuck off_ ,” he mouths. There’s no microphone in the room, so they can’t hear his reply.

“ _Hurry up and come to security when you’re done,”_ says another voice from the intercom, a female voice.

So Alex tries to finish charting the course as quickly as he can before there’s the resounding beep signalling the task has been completed. He leaves the room and the door automatically shuts behind him. Alex thinks that it’s impressive how the technology onboard The Skeld has become so advanced that it recognises when somebody enters and leaves a room.

When he enters security, he notices Green, Cyan and White all crowded around the security system, interestedly clicking through each of the cameras.

“Hi, Pink,” White says, giving him a warm smile. She’s nice, and Alex met her previously during training. Alex remembers her name as _Mia._ She spent most of the time complaining about the lack of women on the ship and how much she was dreading spending months among a multitude of men. It was okay though, she’d told Alex that he and Cam were the only men she could tolerate out of the crewmates. Oh, and Will, Mia’s boyfriend. It was so classic of Will to manage to get his own girlfriend on a Skeld mission with him.

“What are you all doing?” Alex asks. “Aren’t you meant to be doing actual work instead of spying on everyone in security?”

Cyan laughs and turns from the computer. She’s called Gee, and Alex is familiar with her too, because she’d spent most of the training with Mia anyway, and they were pretty close friends before the mission even started. “We’ve finished all our tasks for the day,” she says, shrugging. “Might as well just make sure that everybody is doing as they’re told.”

They make room for him at the security desk, and Alex perches on the edge while Cam scrolls through the various cameras that are dotted around the ship.

“Who do you wanna spy on?” Cam asks him. “We can check that everybody is doing their tasks.”

“Hmm,” Alex says. “Let’s see if Will is actually working today, instead of starting fights and getting James to back him up.”

Mia laughs at this. “You’re right. He’s a royal twat. Might kick his ass later if he’s being a dickhead,” she shrugs. “Show us the footage, Cam.”

Cam clicks around for a little while before they spot a familiar blue figure in the cafeteria, fixing the wiring against one of the walls. They’re all surprised at this, laughing at the fact that _Will Lenney_ himself is actually getting on with his tasks for once. 

“Is he actually doing something useful for once?” Mia laughs. “Who is he? That’s not my boyfriend.”

Alex bursts into hysterical laughter at this. “I can’t believe he’s actually doing his work,” he says, eyebrows raised in disbelief. It’s not often that Will is seen to be doing something that could be classed as ‘useful’ or ‘essential’, and Alex is just confused at how he was even allowed on this mission anyway with the amount of time he spends doing anything apart from working.

“Switch on the intercom, I wanna talk to him,” Mia says, an almost malicious grin on her face. They’re quite cute together, Alex thinks, but he always hears them arguing like an old couple in the corridors when Mia finds out that Will has done something stupid. Alex, yet again, can’t believe that they were even allowed to do this mission together, because they were bound to spend most of the time either in each others’ dorms, or arguing over who’s being more productive. 

Cam does as asked, clicking the intercom button for the cafeteria, and the loud beeping sound causes Will to look up from where he’s, surprisingly, working. 

“Nice to see you working for once, Will,” Mia says into the mic, and Alex nearly cries with laughter at Will’s perplexed face turn into severe annoyance.

He looks right at the security camera and Alex can just make out Will mouthing a pointed _‘Fuck you’_ at the lens before he’s turning back to his wiring, back hunched over in exasperation. They all burst into laughter, clinging to the edge of the desk, and it’s probably the most Alex has laughed for weeks.

One they’re all calmed down, they click back onto the main view of the security cameras. “Who do you wanna spy on next?” Gee asks Alex, wiggling her eyebrows. “Anybody you want, Pink.”

“Let’s try George,” Alex says. He does wonder what George gets up to around the ship, because he hardly ever sees him, as they rarely get any similar tasks. “He’s Orange.”

“You’ve known him for a while, right?” Gee asks, cocking her head to the side in interest. “Like, before the mission even started?”

Alex nods. “Yeah, we…we go way back, me and George.” He looks down at his hands placed in his lap, thinks about how it all started.

“How’d you meet?” Mia pipes up, lip quirked in curiosity. 

Alex inhales. He doesn't know if he wants to tell his entire life story to crewmates who will likely spread the story around the ship, but in the end, what has he got to lose? They’ll end up finding out anyway.

“Me and George worked at HQ a few years back,” Alex explains. “We worked in neighbouring cubicles, and we ended up as quite good friends. I always suspected there was something going on between us, but I never acted on it until we started training for this mission.”

“Then what?” Cam asks, riveted by the story. They all look interested in what he has to say, and Alex almost considers telling them to forget it, because he knows how quickly word gets around on The Skeld. But he’s going to be with these people for months, and if they don’t find out now, then they’ll most definitely find out later, and that would be ten times worse. 

“Well,” Alex continues. “Once we got to training, as you’ll know, we were all away from home for a long while, and we got kinda bored, so we ended up sleeping around with each other for a while. But he told me he’s straight, and has no interest in that anymore, so now we’re just friends.” Alex finishes the story, and the other three crewmates look surprised, mouths hanging open slightly.

“Wow,” Gee says, eyes wide through her helmet. “I wouldn’t have expected that.”

“Don’t spread it around though,” Alex says, already regretting the fact that he’s told them. “I think George would kill me if he knew that you all were aware of it.”

Cam shrugs and finds George on the security map, at the bottom of storage, attempting to empty a trash chute. He’s concentrating really hard, and Alex can swear he sees his tongue peeking out through his lips as he works. 

“Struggling a bit?” Alex teases through the intercom. “Didn’t know it was so hard to hold down a lever for three seconds.”

George looks up at where the voice came from. He looks confused, before he just shrugs, then carries on with what he’s doing, unbothered by the teasing.

“Man, Orange doesn’t take any shit from anyone,” Mia observes. “He’s just getting on with his tasks.”

Gee laughs at this. “A model crewmate.” If he’s being honest, George is probably one of the best people for this mission. Ever since Alex has known him, he’s been slightly envious of the way that George can just knuckle down and complete work without question or any sort of argument. George is one of those people that does all the work behind the scenes and never takes credit for it, never says a word unless somebody says one first. And that’s a reason why Alex has always wished that he _was_ him, because Alex, although able to complete a task in a similar way, always ends up getting distracted by something or another.

“Who’s that on the other side?” Mia then questions, pointing a finger at the other side of the map where a familiar Lime figure is working on something in the communications room. “I should probably know who everybody is by now, but I just keep forgetting people’s real names.”

“Oh,” Cam says. “That’s Lewis.” He clicks on the room where Lime is situated, seemingly uploading something from his computer to the system. The camera zooms in on him a little, and Alex can see Lewis’s fingers darting about the keyboard, typing something onto the computer. “We’ve known each other since we trained in Exis. He’s a really sound guy.”

“What’s he like?” Alex asks.

“Bit of a charmer,” Cam laughs. “Always saying shit that gets him in trouble. But y’know, he’s great. One of my best friends, for sure.”

Alex watches Lewis work in the grainy security footage, matching Lime helmet slung beside him on the table. His curls are damp around his face and he’s lounging in one of the small chairs in Comms, legs so long that they stick out from underneath the table. It’s quite endearing to watch him just a tad too big for the small desk, but the way his curly hair falls messily into his eyes is what makes Alex swallow something heavy in his throat.

*

A week or so later, Alex leaves Electrical after completing his final task for the evening. He’s accompanied by Yellow, a crewmate that Alex remembers as _Fraser_. He hadn’t spoken to him much in training due to the fact that they were both rather quiet and nervous during the whole thing, but Alex found out that they’re both similar, in the sense that they both enjoyed sports and in particular, football, and have had many excited conversations about it. Alex even promised that they’d play a real game together when they got back to Earth, and Fraser’s eyes had practically lit up at the suggestion.

They sit around one of the tables in the cafeteria and drink energy drinks from the vending machine in the corner of the room. Fraser explains something to him about football and Alex listens intently, glad he’s got somebody onboard that can share his love for the game.

“I brought a football with me,” Alex says. “In my luggage. We could pump it up one day and have a kick-around after we’ve completed our tasks, if you want?”

Fraser grins at this. “I’d love that.” He’s about to add something else, but they’re interrupted by the sound of the cafeteria door opening, and when they swing around in their seats to see who it is, it’s Lewis making his way across the room to one of the other doors.

“Evening, Lime,” Alex says, struggling to contain his blush at the sight of the other crewmate. “How’s your day been?” It’s almost pathetic how attractive he finds him, and Fraser seems to catch on, as he narrows his eyes a little at Alex’s poor attempt at flirting.

Lewis stops walking at Alex’s comment, and turns around to face him with an amused expression on his face. “Adequate, Pink. Yours?” 

Alex beams. “Great! Are you busy right now?” He asks. “We’ve got—” he starts.

“Yeah,” Lewis grimaces. “Got to upload some data into the system in Electrical, but hopefully it won’t take long.” He starts to walk again, towards the door that leads down to the electrical room, but Alex is confused at Lewis’s words.

“Hey, you don’t need to do that task,” Alex says, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I’ve already uploaded in there today.”

Lewis gives him a blank stare before his face is suddenly splitting into a wide grin. “Oh, silly me. I must’ve written down the wrong task for today.” And then he’s taking out a pen and paper and crossing something off a list he’s seemingly written on the paper, before joining eye contact with them again. “Thanks for your help, Pink.”

“You’re so welcome,” Alex breathes, all the confusion he was previously feeling now a distant memory. “I hope you sleep well, Lime.”

Lewis throws him another one of his famous wonky smiles, and Alex is so selfishly endeared that he can hear his own heart pounding in his chest. “Cheers, Pink. You’re looking lovely like always.” And then Lewis leaves the cafeteria through one of the doors, placing his helmet over his curls just as the door shuts. Alex blushes like a fool.

“You fancy him,” Fraser says the second they're alone. “You’re so obvious.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “Okay, sure, but why wouldn’t I? He’s…good looking.”

Fraser widens his eyes at him. “You’re gonna get in trouble if you fuck a colleague,” he reminds him, slapping him on the arm. “Like big time.” And maybe if Mira HQ found out that Alex was messing around with a crewmate on board the ship then he’d no longer have a job when he got home, but that wasn’t their problem right now. He just needed to complete the mission.

Alex shrugs. “I’ve done it once before. They never found out.”

Fraser just rolls his eyes at him. “You know you’ll regret that.”

*

The first one feels like the worst.

A few nights later, Alex is jolted awake in the middle of the night to the sound of a loud commotion somewhere else on the ship. He shoots up in bed, hair sweaty against his forehead and blankets pooled around his waist. He can’t figure out what’s going on, so Alex’s brain jolts into work mode and he leaps out of bed regardless, hurriedly changing into the garishly-pink suit. He hops around to put on the heavy-duty work boots that he’d slung by his bed the night before. He doesn’t bother to put his helmet on and hopes that the oxygen is strong enough to last him the entire time that he’s out there.

George, Will and James are suddenly awake then too, and in less than thirty seconds they’re bolting down the corridor as they did a few weeks ago, feet rumbling against the loose metal flooring that’s too uneven to be safe. They don’t put their helmets on either, and Alex hopes that whatever this commotion is won’t kill them by lack of oxygen.

When they reach the sound of the disturbance, they’re greeted by most of the other crewmates crowded around the door of the security room. And Alex can’t see anything, but he feels his breath become laboured and heavy in his throat as he notices Mia turn away from the door and press shaky hands against the sides of her face in shock, eyes blown wide. 

“What…” Alex mumbles, heart speeding up in fear underneath the layers of his suit. “What’s going on?” he asks nobody in particular.

Then Will’s pushing past the crowd and stumbles into the room to see what they’re all looking at, and he disappears from view for a few seconds, before he’s shoving his way back out the room, hand pressed tightly against his mouth in horror, eyes so wide that Alex wonders if he’s having a heart attack. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Will says, and then he’s grabbing Alex and George and covering both their eyes with his hands. “Don’t look. You don’t want to look at this.” He pushes them in some attempt to drag them from the scene, but Alex tries to rip Will’s hand away, intent on finding out what’s happened.

“What’s happened?” Alex cries in terror, gripping Will’s wrist again in some attempt to view whatever they’re all seeing, but Will’s hand doesn’t budge, not until Alex pulls both of them away, heart racing so fast that he swears he’s dying.

“I said don’t _fucking_ look!” Will says, and what terrifies Alex the most is that Will looks like he’s about to cry. Will hardly ever cries. “He’s… he’s dead, Al.”

“Who’s dead?” George is clinging to Will’s shoulder, and Alex can’t say anything at all. He can’t even form words that resemble sentences. 

“Black,” Will says, trying to calm his breathing and speak in a way that’s intelligible for them. “Black’s been…stabbed.” 

And, oh. _Matty._

Alex breaks away from them, notices Cam sinking down the wall onto the floor, hands covering his blotchy face. Cam had known Matty since they trained at Exis, and Alex can’t imagine how he would be feeling right now. 

Alex searches for another crewmate, Lime, among the chaos. He picks out Lewis leaning up against a wall, breathing heavily. He’d trained at Exis too, and he’s clearly shaken up by what he’s seen because Alex doesn’t see him react at all, he just stares at the wall with his mouth slightly agape.

“Who…” Alex says, looking up at Will, who’s still blotchy-faced and restless. “Who killed him?”

Will rubs a hand over his face. “We don’t know.”

*

Alex doesn’t sleep that night, tossing, turning and thinking about the fact that there’s a _murderer_ on the ship. He’d previously read countless articles about Skeld missions that had been infiltrated by murderers, nicknamed _Impostors._ They never knew how Impostors gained access to the ship, but they always came up with new ways to get past the strict security system before take-off. But there hadn’t been an ‘Impostor case’ since 1998, which was what makes it more terrifying, because Alex has no idea what they’re going to do now.

The remaining crewmates had held a meeting in the cafeteria after the body was found, but they didn't come to a conclusion. There was no logical way that an Impostor could be one of the crewmates, because they’d all had extensive training and had been to multiple doctor’s appointments before launch, to make sure that they were all fit enough to commence with the mission. It just wasn’t possible that the Impostor was one of _them_.

The next day, Alex doesn’t join them in the basement when they eject the body out of the ship. He stays in the dorm and sits on his bed cross-legged, bouncing his football against the wall and catching it as it comes back. He can hear them down there, talking about something as they push Black into the ejection unit. Alex doesn’t listen when it shuts, doesn’t listen to the sound of the ejection. He covers his ears.

George comes into the dorm a few minutes later, and quietly shuts the door before he’s gingerly walking over to where Alex is sitting on the edge of his bed.

“It’s done,” George says, lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

Alex doesn’t say anything, so George takes off his helmet and sits down next to him on the bed, garish orange suit a contrast to Alex’s bare legs and pyjama top. “We don’t have to talk about it,” George continues. “But if you stay in the dorm all by yourself then they’re all going to think that you did it.”

Alex gapes, looks up at George with a frown. “I would never,” he says solemnly, and he’s appalled that George would even suggest that. “I’m…I’m very much innocent.”

“I know,” George says. “But they don’t know that, and they’ll start to get suspicious.” He pushes against Alex’s arm so that he flops against him, cheek pressed up against his orange overalls. 

Alex had missed George, missed the nights where they’d lie together and talk about everything mixed with absolutely nothing. He remembers how it was back in training, when they’d rush back to their dorms after a mock session, barely even in the door before George would have him up against the wall, and they’d get each other off until they were exhausted. 

Alex doesn’t want that anymore, but there's a part of him that misses the dynamic they had before their boredom got the best of them. Because Alex can’t look George directly in the eyes anymore, not since they’d fucked up their relationship.

“And…uh. I know, by the way,” George adds, body tightening a little as if he’s realised something.

“Know what?” Alex asks, sitting up from where he was slouched on George’s arm.

“You telling everyone about what happened in training,” George replies quietly, leaning his elbows down onto his knees. “Kinda shitty of you, if I’m honest, Al.”

Alex’s bottom lip quivers. There’s a guilt that shoots through his veins because he knows that he was wrong. He should never have told Cam, Mia and Gee what he and George used to do when they were bored. It was completely not within his rights. “I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. “I shouldn’t have—”

“They all know,” George says. “They all think…They think I’m gay.”

“You’re just— you’re saying it like it’s bad!” Alex cries, smacking the football onto the metal flooring. It bounces back up but Alex doesn’t catch it, lets it roll underneath the opposite bunk-bed. 

George looks guilty for a second, face softening in his haste. “Yeah— I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that it’s a bad thing, I just don’t want them to believe something that just isn’t true.” 

Alex doesn’t say anything, just sits there before he’s sinking back into the familiarity of George’s side, face pressed up against his clothes. He misses their friendship and how it was before, but there’s no way to change it now.

*

After the ejection, the news of Black’s death is relayed back down to HQ, who then consequently broadcast the news to every newspaper and magazine, and every TV show that exists. They send an email to The Skeld, a long and drawn out letter on how to cope with their horrific loss, a letter which basically tells them to mourn as little as possible and to carry on with their duties until the mission has been completed. It feels so inhumane to just ignore Black, to act like he wasn't even there. Pretending like there was only ever nine crewmates feels like a slap in the face.

But they’re not rebels, they’re trained to carry out their tasks for the mission, and Alex would be an idiot if he was to ever defy the strict rules that Mira set out for them. He’d lose his job and all of his friends. So Alex just carries out his duties. Will does his best to cheer them all up by mucking around or just being plain annoying, but there’s nothing that subdues the hurt that they feel after the first death, especially when you know that there’s probably more to come. An Impostor wouldn’t just kill one person and call it a day.

Alex can barely bring himself to venture into the security room after what occurred there days ago, but one of his tasks is to watch over the cameras for half an hour, and he knows that he’s going to have to get over himself if he wants this mission to be successful. He tries to regulate his breathing

as he enters the room, and barely gets it under control when he pushes open the door. 

The room is back to normal, nothing that stands out as being, previously, a crime scene. So Alex just wanders over to the desk and logs onto the computer, settling himself down in the chair to study footage of empty corridors for a while. 

He’s terribly invested in Will attempting to get leaves out of the oxygen chamber when he hears a rattling sound from behind him, a metal clunking from inside the floor. He jumps at the sudden sound and turns around in fright, just to see Lime climbing out of one of the vents in the floor.

When Lewis notices Alex sitting in the chair, he looks surprised for a few seconds before his face is stretching into a broad grin. “Oh hi, Pink,” he says, leaping out of the vent and dusting himself off. “Looking stunning today, like always.”

Alex has never been more confused in his life, but a pink glow touches his cheeks at the compliment. “Why were you…in the vent?” He asks, tucking his legs up to his chest. 

Lewis reaches into his pocket and brings out a slip of paper. “I was looking for my task sheet,” he explains, shaking his head as if to laugh at himself. “I dropped it down this vent an hour ago and only just realised it was missing.”

Alex doesn’t know how to react, and just nods slowly at Lewis. “Right.”

“I’m dumb, right?” Lewis says, chuckling at himself. “Crawling around in the vents, looking for a stupid piece of paper.” He shuts the hatch of the vent with his foot, and the sound of it shutting echoes down the hallway. 

He can’t, for the life of him, think of how to respond so Alex just nods compliantly.

“So, wanna tell me anything about you?” Lewis asks, strolling over to the desk. He’s tall when they’re standing next to each other, but when Alex is sitting down, he’s enormous. “You intrigue me to a great extent.”

Alex gawks. “Why?” He’s never been referred to as intriguing before, and there’s something about the way that Lewis says it that makes him feel like he's burning up.

Lewis laughs at this, pulls up a chair beside him and slides into it. Alex notices how he’s even more handsome from close up. “Well, I’ve seen you around the ship, and I’m just surprised that I haven’t spoken to you properly yet. Is that a crime, Pink?”

And the latter shakes his head. “No, you’re right.”

Lewis nods assertively. “Do I get to know your real name, then? Or am I supposed to just wonder for the rest of my days what the pretty boy in pink was called?” He asks, leaning forward on his palms, hazel eyes scanning Alex’s face. 

“Alex.” He hates the pink that frequents his cheeks whenever Lewis speaks to him.

“Well, Alex, I’m Lewis,” and he sticks out a huge palm, grin sitting lopsided on his face like usual.

He just blinks up at Lewis, almost laughs but he’s already intimidated by Lime enough as it is, and doesn't want to worsen the blow. “I already know your name.” They shake hands regardless.

“Yeah?” And Lewis is hardly bothered, just kicks his feet up onto the desk, work-boots slightly grubby from being in the vent. “So you’ve been doing your research.”

“Shut up. I just heard Green talking about you.” 

Lewis bursts into laughter. “Oh?”

Alex hates himself for how much he likes him. “Shouldn’t you be doing your tasks right now?” 

“Yeah, probably. You trying to get rid of me?”

“Yes.” Alex turns up his nose and turns back to the computer, trying to act like he doesn’t care. The cameras are still active on the screen, and Alex can see George squinting at something in the navigation room. Alex laughs when he thinks about the fact that George forgot to bring his glasses with him. “They’ll think that you’re the _Impostor_ if you’re not doing anything useful.” He wiggles his eyebrows at the word.

Lewis just laughs and gets up from his seat. “Yeah, imagine that.”

And not even a minute after Lewis has left the room, the warning sound for the reactor goes off again. 

*

“Hey,” Will says, walking into the weapons room, armed with his laptop and a heart stack of files. “Have you seen Cyan?” He perches down on the protruding ledge by a wall as Alex works.

“Probably in Security, why?” Alex responds absently, trying to upload something to Mira’s system. Knowing Gee, she’s probably just with Mia and Cam like normal.

Will sighs. “We found her task sheet,” he pulls it from his pocket, and Alex notices it’s slightly crumpled in one corner. “She’s hardly completed any of them today.”

Alex’s face pales, because Gee always completes her tasks with time to spare, which is why she spends so often in the security room. And if, for some reason, she hasn't completed her tasks, then it’s clear that something is very, very wrong.

Alex fumbles with his words, feels as they keep slipping down his throat. “You spoken to Mia?” He manages. “She might…know.”

Will nods. “Yeah, Mia was the first person I asked. But it's a big spacecraft and she could be anywhere, to be fair.” Alex doesn't know how to react, because they’ve only passed a day since the brutal murder of Black, who didn’t even get a proper funeral, and was just ejected from the ship in an unceremonious farewell. The last thing the crewmates need is something else to worry about.

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Alex swallows, and turns back to the upload, which is only halfway through. The one thing that Alex hates the most about the tasks is the amount of waiting around that it entails, and hardly any of the tasks allow him to be finished in less than twenty minutes. 

“Thank you, mate,” Will says and ruffles his hair affectionately. “Also, put your helmet back on or you’ll get sick.”

“Yes, mother,” Alex says, rolls his eyes jokingly, placing the pink helmet over his messy hair. Because he loves Will really, and how simple it is to slip into a conversation with him. It’s too easy to be friends with him, because he cares about everybody, and even one single person who gets in the way of people that Will cares about, is dead to him. 

*

Eventually, they find Cyan. 

Alex is rooted to the ground, hands held up to his face as James and Cam solemnly lift her out of the vent, suit half covered in dust and dirt, and her limbs hanging limply by her sides. There’s not a single mark on her at all, no blood or any signs of trauma, yet it still hurts Alex deep in his gut, because he guesses that he was hoping she’d be okay. They shut the vent as they climb out, and James and Cam are gone before they arrived, leaving through the door of Security, presumably taking her down to the basement for her imminent ejection. 

Will stands next to him as it happens, grips his shoulder comfortingly, but through the helmet, Alex can see that Will is terrified stiff, eyes blown wide and teeth gnawing his bottom lip.

Nobody says anything, and most of the crewmates are just standing around in petrified silence, because they know that this isn't going to end now. One murder on a spacecraft could've been self-defence, but two suggested that something more sinister was going on. Alex doesn't even look at Mia, because he knows that she’s breaking down. He knows that if he looks her in the eye then he won’t be able to cope anymore.

Everybody heads back to the dorms, silent and subdued like the first time, but there’s a horrible ominous air that lays thickly over their heads as they trudge back to what they thought was safety, a place where they were supposed to complete the mission and land back on Earth with every crewmate still alive. 

But in a second that takes everything out of him, Alex realises the obvious. Alex’s jaw practically drops to the floor, and he feels like he’s winded, as if he’s fallen too fast and too quick. His mind scrambles, tries to think of some other conclusion that could drag his mind away from the only one he can focus on, but he's dead set. Alex _knows_ now, everything too clear in his mind _._

He’s breaking away from their group in seconds, and he’s striding down the corridor, feet heavy against the metal floor and his breath too loud in his ears to even belong to him. 

“Alex?” Will calls in concern. “Where are you going?” But Alex doesn’t respond, just continues to bolt down the corridors, practically bumping into the edges of walls in his haste and in his hurry.

He can’t hear anything else apart from his own breath until he runs into Cam, who’s leaning up against a wall in the hallway, facial expression disturbingly bleak. His Green helmet lies on the floor beside him.

“Have you seen Lime?” He asks nicely enough, out of breath and red-cheeked. 

Cam nods, face desolate. “Last time I saw him, he was in the dorm.”

Alex doesn't think about it, just bolts again. He's not seeing objects, just shapes and blurs of colour until he finds himself outside Dorm 2, hand raised as if to knock. But he doesn’t and Alex is still not thinking when he rams the door open.

Lewis stands, enigmatic, up against the small circular window in the dormitory, a stupidly long leg kicked up against the bunk-bed’s ladder. When Black’s murder had happened, Lewis, in front of the other crewmates, had adopted a downcast, forlorn face as he leaned up against the wall by Security, but as Alex sees him currently, he notices that Lewis looks completely neutral, and maybe even a little smug.

Lewis looks up at him under lengths of curly fringe as he enters, face dropping instantly to adopt a pretty realistic dismal expression, but it’s no use Lewis even trying to act innocuous now. 

“You,” Alex hisses, rage seething through every bone in his body. He steps over bags on the floor and walks towards the taller man at the window. “You fucking—” He stops when they’re about a metre away, Lewis looking at him in amusement which angers Alex even further.

“What?” Lewis questions, spins around so they’re facing each other. There’s something about the arrogant curl of his lip and the frown in his brow that makes Alex want to kill him even more. “What have I done?” He continues.

Alex can almost feel himself turn purple with rage. “It was—it was all you, wasn’t it? This was your big idea, huh?” They're hardly a metre apart now, and Alex defiantly stares up at him, chin angled towards him. “You wanted to ruin our fucking lives?”

Lewis doesn’t say anything to start with, just stands up straight from where he was previously leaning, turns a little so he’s facing dead into Alex’s eyes. “What are you going to do?” The taller man says in barely a whisper. “ _Kill me?_ ”

Alex’s lip judders in rage. “I might.”

“Yeah, go on then. Let’s see how that works out for you, darling,” Lewis responds, Scottish accent thick in his mouth, every syllable delicate as if it was crafted for his mouth alone.

Alex has barely even balled his hand into a fist to punch Lewis, before he feels himself being propelled backwards, back hitting the edge of a wall, and Alex barely breathes when he notices the glint of a weapon in the mirror and the cold of its surface firmly pressed up against his neck. _A knife,_ Alex breathes, and tries to grip Lewis in some way to free himself but Lewis overpowers him in every way, leaning right down to the shell of his ear. Alex can feel ice-cold breath on the side of his face, and he’s almost crying.

“I could so easily kill you right now,” Lewis says, pressing the tip of the knife to Alex’s jaw. “Is that what you want?”

Alex just shakes his head in response, entire body vibrating with fear as Lewis holds him up against the wall.

“You don’t want George and Will and James to one day find you dead somewhere on this ship?”

“No,” Alex whispers.

“It would hurt for George the most, wouldn’t it?” Lewis questions, mockingly, twisting the knife around Alex’s face a little. “To see you dead.”

And Alex is crying, wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He wants to brush them away, doesn’t want Lewis to see him like that, but he could snap at any single movement and kill him.

“I think we both know why it would hurt George the most, hm?” he continues, smiling a little.

“Please let me go,” Alex begs, eyes wet and blue with tears, lashes dark, stuck together. “Please, Lewis.”

Lewis hums, presses the knife further to his throat, and Alex gulps at this, head far back against the wall, trying his hardest to get as far away from the knife as possible. “How do I know that you won’t go and tell your foolish little humans and Mira HQ that I’m the big bad _Impostor_?” he asks, voice low.

“I don’t…” Alex breathes, voice strangled in his throat. “I don't do that. I’m not a snitch.”

“No?” Lewis says with interest, twirls the knife a little. “Because if you did, then you _and_ everybody would be dead before you even got to tell them what happened. Understand?” 

“Yes,” Alex weeps, and only at that moment does Lewis drop the knife, before kicking it underneath his bed with a clunk and stepping away from Alex’s cowering figure. And in that second, almost as if Lewis had predicted it, the door to the dorm swings open, revealing Will and George standing there in concern, helmets under their arms and hair messy.

“You okay?” Will asks him, noticing his tear-stained face. “We were looking for you.” They look worried for him, and there’s nothing Alex wants to do more than tell them what just happened, but he knows that it would only take seconds for Lewis to press that beautifully shiny knife into the side of his neck.

“We were both talking about what happened with Cyan,” Lewis pipes up, leans against one of the bunks like he’s not a part of this, as if he didn’t ever do anything. “Pink got a bit upset.”

Alex can feel his breathing increase again - he’s angry at the way Lewis can lie through his teeth like this. The way that he can make it so easy for an unsuspecting crewmate to believe every word he says. He’s probably been created in this way so it’s easy for him to take over the ship, but Alex still wishes he were dead.

“Oh, that’s okay,” George says, throws them both a sympathetic look. “You coming back to the dorm with us, Al?” The honesty on his face is what nearly breaks Alex, and he hurriedly gets up from where he was previously pressed against the wall.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, beginning to follow them out of the dorm blindly, and just as they’re about to exit, he finds himself looking back over his shoulder for Lewis, who just looks him dead in the eye before laying the tip of the knife against his tongue, corner of his mouth quirking up in some sort of arrogant grin. In complete horror Alex looks away sharply, breathing heavily as if to distract himself.

It’s probably a good thing that Will and George don’t notice, because they’d probably be dead right now otherwise.

*

“Two deaths,” Will says in what Alex calls his _announcer voice_ as the eight crewmates crowd around a table in the cafeteria. Alex likes when Will takes charge of a situation because he knows that something will get done about it, and if it doesn’t, then Will usually just starts a fight until somebody gives in. “I don’t want a third, understand? HQ hates us enough.”

Everyone seems to nod and murmur in agreement, and this seems to be a big power trip for Will, because he raises his eyebrows as if he’s of great importance. “From now on, nobody’s going to be alone in a room doing their tasks. We all help each other out, even if this means that we end up working later and sleeping less. Nothing is more important than each others’ lives on this mission.”

Alex looks across the cafeteria table and catches Lewis’s eye. His hair’s damp from, presumably, his morning shower, and he’s shaved the growing facial hair that was creeping onto his face. Lewis doesn’t say anything, but the corner of his mouth quirks up when he notices Alex studying him. His tongue peeps out from between his lips and he wets them before unashamedly eyeing Alex up and down. And _fuck_ , Alex damns himself for being attracted to a murderer.

“Everyone has a partner for during tasks,” Will continues after looking up from a bit of paper he’s holding in his hand. “If you leave your partner for any reason then you’re a dickhead. No excuses.”

Alex’s heart runs cold as he sees Will smooth out the paper, preparing himself to read out the partners. He sees Lewis raise his eyebrows expectantly, stretch his arms out as he leans on the table. God, Alex wants him to die so badly.

“Yellow and Green,” Will begins. “That’s Fraser and Cam.”

Alex's knee bounces as he listens for his name. 

“Pink and Purple. That’s Alex and James.” There’s almost a sense of relief that he’s not partnered with Lewis, but another spike of fear shoots through him as he realises that whoever Lewis is paired with is probably going to die. Regardless, he gives James a smile, hoping that they can get through this together.

“Next we’ve got Lime and White,” Will continues, and Alex feels like he’s in slow motion when he turns to look at Mia, who turns to Lewis and grins at him. There’s still pain in her eyes from what she witnessed the other day, and Alex can’t bear to see it worsen. “ _That’s Lewis and Mia.”_

 _“And lastly, it’s—”_ Alex can’t hear himself think, can’t breathe, can’t speak. His head swirls and he’s not even thinking coherent thoughts by the time he’s bolted from the cafeteria, pushing open the doors with both hands and sprinting down the corridor. 

He only just makes it into the toilet before he’s heaving, falling onto his knees and clutching the grubby edge of the toilet bowl. He feels like he’s been throwing up for hours when he can hear the door burst open from behind him and the sound of heavy feet thudding into the bathroom.

“Al?” 

“I’m… here,” Alex manages through laboured breath, attempting to kick the stall door with his foot.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Alex,” and it’s George; the most comforting sound he’s heard in his entire life. He can hear George come into the stall from behind, kneeling down on the ground beside him. And then all Alex can feel is George’s fingers threading through his long fringe and holding it out of his face. “You ate something shitty this morning?”

Alex just shrugs. He wipes any remaining vomit from around his mouth before he’s getting up from his knees and collapsing against the wall of the bathroom cubicle next to George, breathing heavily. “Probably, yeah.”

George looks at him in concern. “Are you okay?”

Alex nods, tears already filling his eyes. “Yeah, I’m just…”

George pulls him into his side like he always does, a familiar embrace that Alex has missed too much for his own good. “I know it’s shitty right now,” he says, “but I’m here for you.” and somehow that’s enough.

George has never been much of a talker, and he was never very good at advice either, but somehow, throughout it all, Alex always found the most solace in just sitting next to George and existing with him while everything fell apart. Two years ago when Alex was nineteen and an intern at Mira HQ, he got cheated on by an old boyfriend so they both sat on George’s roof for hours, listening to OK Computer and basking in the fact that they had absolutely nothing to lose.

And now, Alex is twenty-one and slumped in a bathroom stall onboard the biggest mission-spacecraft in the world, crying on George’s shoulder. In a moment of honesty, Alex almost tells George everything, nearly opens up about Lewis, but he doesn't know what Lewis would do to them if he found out that Alex had spilled the beans to George, so he firmly keeps his mouth shut.

*

It turns out that it’s incredibly hard being partnered with James, because although James presents himself as being diligent and getting on with his tasks, he nearly always gets caught up in gossip and spends a lot of the time talking to Will or other crewmates on the ship. James is a great guy, and he’s come to be one of Alex’s best friends, but God, if he doesn’t stop mucking around with Will and actually completing his tasks then Alex thinks he might ask Lewis to kill him next.

“Purple, we really need to go,” Alex says today, tapping his invisible watch impatiently. “We’ve wasted too much time in here and I need to upload the data to HQ.” This doesn't elicit a response from James, who’s laughing with Will about some TV show that they’d seen. George, who’s partnered with Will, is experiencing the same thing and sends him an eye-roll. 

“James.” Alex says firmly, and the calling of James’s real name is what finally makes him look up from where he’s ignoring Alex.

“We can leave in a second, okay?” James says, trying to listen to Will’s rambling story at the same time as starting a new task. “The wiring is, if I’m honest, fucked in here so I need to fix it.”

Alex rolls his eyes exasperatedly before leaning against the door and praying that they finish soon. Trust Will and James to come up with the partner system themselves and then waste everybody’s time by not moving things along fast enough. And even though this new system was in place, Lewis would undoubtedly find a way to murder somebody unsuspectingly. 

Alex feels his heart drop to the pit of his stomach when he sees Lewis and Mia walk down the corridor past them, Mia talking animatedly about something while Lewis listens with a great interest that he knows is fake. Alex knows something is going to happen, but he’s powerless to stop it. Lewis could kill him in one blow, could even frame him for everything and make it his fault. 

They make their way towards Electrical, and just as he’s about to enter, Mia already in the room, Lewis turns back to where Alex is leaning against the doorframe of the storage room and gives him a look that Alex cannot describe. A look that makes Alex despise him.

And then, just as he’s about to enter Electrical, Lewis raises his eyebrows at Alex before lifting a single green-gloved finger and holding it to his lips, before he vanishes into the room. 

The door shuts. The door to Electrical never shuts.

_Fuck._

“No, no no!” Alex practically screams, and before he can realise that he’s done something incredibly stupid, he’s bolting from the doorway of the storage room, alone, and running down the corridor, heart pounding in his chest. _Not Mia. She doesn’t deserve this at all._

“Pink, where the fuck are you going without James?” Will shouts from behind him, but he doesn’t listen, because something terrible is about to happen to Mia, and Alex isn’t ready to feel eternal guilt for not realising sooner.

“Let me in!” Alex pounds on the heavy titanium door of the electrical room. “Open the fuck up!” The door’s made of reinforced metal which would never budge even if somebody came at it with an iron fist, but Alex still feels the need to shove himself up against it as if this would cause it to open.

He can hear the sound of people rushing down the corridors to see what the commotion is about, boots against the floor like rain on the roof of his house when he was back on Earth and worked nine to five as a naive little intern.

The doors on The Skeld are set on a thirty-second timer, which means that once they’ve been shut, then they’ll open after that time period. So after a long thirty seconds, the doors open with a loud exhaling sound, the vacuum seal then relaxing. 

Mia stands in the centre of the room, very much alive, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

And Alex exhales, because she’s not dead, and this is very much a good thing.

But Lewis also stands in the room, a delicate look of bewilderment painted on his features, a look that Alex knows is feigned. Alex nearly sees red at that moment, because there’s no way that he can make what just happened look any less like it was his fault. 

“Why were you shouting?” Mia asks, clearly mystified as to why every person on the ship has crowded around the door of the electrical room. 

“The door locked, I…”

“It was just a door malfunction, Al,” George says comfortingly from behind him, and places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “They could’ve handled it. We’re all trained.”

“You left your partner,” Will says, arms folded as he leans against the wall, and Alex knows he’s extremely angry because he doesn't even raise his voice. “What happened to the fuckin’ system?”

Alex cowers at Will’s tone, because he hardly ever gets angry at him, even when he’s fucked up in the past and ruined everything. “I’m sorry, I just…overestimated the situation.” 

“You’ve proper fucked it, Alex,” Will says, and he doesn’t even call him by his assigned colour so Alex knows it’s serious. “Well done.”

He’s shocked at Will’s unusual intonation, and looks up at him with big eyes. “Please! You know I didn’t do it on purpose—” 

“Leave the kid alone,” Lewis pipes up from where he’s leaning against the counter in the electrical room. “He made an honest mistake.” Alex turns to where Lewis is standing, and notices that he meets his eye with a smug look that makes Alex want to leap forward and tear his eyes from their sockets. He’s so good at lying, being able to manipulate a situation into his favour. Because nobody would ever suspect Lewis with his big eyes and soft smile, easily able to switch into a sinister one within a second’s notice.

“Yeah, you’re overreacting a bit, Will,” James says. “He clearly didn’t realise.” Alex is thankful that James is standing up for him, but none of them seem to realise that this isn’t even his fault to start with. If Alex hadn’t interjected, Mia could’ve been dead, and Will would be distraught. 

“ _I’m_ the one overreacting?” Will says, looking around at the other people. “When two crewmates have died on this ship? Wow, I’m sorry for actually taking this seriously, I guess.” And then Will turns around and strides back down the corridor, dragging George along behind him. 

*

The partner system gets dissolved, and Will still isn’t talking to him by the next evening. Every time Alex tries to make eye contact with him, Will turns away to talk to somebody else, and Alex doesn’t think there’s anything that’s ever hurt him more than that, even when he got cheated on twice by the same shitty boyfriend years ago at HQ.

“He’ll come around,” George says to him when they’re all drinking in the cafeteria that evening. “Will’s stubborn, you know that. You’re just not used to him being stubborn with you.”

And George is right, but it still hurts to see Will just talking to James and acting like he doesn’t exist, because they’ve been friends since training, and Will has always been like the older brother he never had.

So Alex just continues with his tasks that evening, heads to Navigation to check the flight radar and watch the mission path slowly make its way along the tiny digital map on the dashboard. He checks on yesterday’s data upload, before plugging his laptop into the drive and letting today’s data filter into the system. 

Then Alex makes his way along to Electrical to finish up his final tasks of the day. He’s had a headache for the past few hours and he’s looking forward to getting into bed so that he can relieve some of the pain he's been feeling today. It obviously hasn’t helped that two of their crewmates are dead, Will isn’t speaking to him, and that HQ are very upset with the situation that’s unfolded over the past few weeks, but Alex isn't going to cry about it. He's going to finish his tasks like a model crewmate and then head to the dorms.

He steps over the various wires and leads in the room before starting his tasks. Alex spends about ten minutes rejoining the wires, which is a record for him because it often takes about thirty minutes to get everything in the right place without electrocuting himself. 

He’s just starting his final task of the day and trying to align the centre of the screw around one of the wires when he hears a thud come from down the corridor which makes him jump so hard that he drops the spanner he was holding onto the floor with a clatter. With a sigh, he tries to ignore it. He doesn’t think anything much of the noise until he reaches down to pick up the spanner and the thud happens again, but this time sounding a lot more resonant than the last.

“ _What the fuck_?” Alex whispers to himself before he’s unthinkingly padding out of the room and down the corridor to investigate. He tries to quieten the heavy sound of his boots against the loose metal flooring but it turns out to be very difficult as he’s never been a particularly quiet walker.

He turns around the corner into the engine room and peers around the corner. Alex nearly doesn’t react when he sees it.

He’s greeted by Lewis standing in the centre of the room, sleeves rolled and hands and arms covered in blood as he stands over a body. Yellow’s body, covered in blood and slumped up against the side of the engine. _Fraser. Holy fuck._

Alex goes faint. He doesn’t even feel himself gasp or react, he just finds himself slowly turning around as if he’s in some kind of messed up dream, and hurrying back down the corridor, feet even louder against the floor than before. He rushes back into Electrical, heart beating faster than ever in his chest as he begins to comprehend what he just saw.

He’s barely even in the door before a hand wraps around his arm, pushes him further into the room and Alex gasps as he’s shoved right up against the wall, causing a wire-box to spring open in its disturbance.

“You saw.” And it’s Lewis, bitingly close to his face as he presses him against the wall, eyebrows furrowed furiously. There’s a speck of blood splattered on his cheek, and the hand that’s pressing against Alex is stained a deep red from what’s clearly also blood.

“I won’t—” Alex starts. “Lewis, please.”

Lewis’s jaw clenches a little harder, and his death-grip on Alex’s chest lessens slightly. “You weren’t supposed to see.” Alex can feel himself tearing up at the realisation that he never got to play football in the cafeteria with Fraser, and he’ll never get to play football with him back on _Earth_ either. The frightening realisation that three people are now dead plays on Alex’s mind. 

“I’m—I’m sorry,” Alex babbles. “I just heard a noise.” He can feel his heart practically burst out of his chest as he notices the streaks of blood lining Lewis’s suit. Lewis could kill him right there and Alex would never get to see George and Will ever again. “Why him, though? Why Fraser?” He wails plaintively.

“It was either him or your friend in orange,” Lewis says, scanning Alex’s face through the helmet. It makes him feel hot and observed in the worst possible way. “Orange will come next.”

“Please,” Alex begs, voice strangled in his throat. “ _Fuck_ , not George, he’s my _friend_. Kill me instead.” Alex doesn't know what he'd do if George was suddenly not around, because the past few years of his life would’ve been absolute torture without his presence and constant reminding Alex to not be a ‘ _self-absorbed dickhead’,_ in George’s words.

Lewis steps away from where he was previously holding him up against the wall. “Do exactly what I say and maybe I’ll spare him for now.” And then Lewis stands up straight, having to duck under the low hanging wires that are draped across the ceiling. “Follow me.”

Alex follows Lewis through the corridors, praying to whatever Gods exist that nobody sees them both walking down the corridor absolutely plastered in Yellow’s blood.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Lewis says from in front of him as they walk. “But they won’t see us like this. I sabotaged the navigation controls, so they’re all preoccupied on the other side of the ship.”

Alex doesn’t respond, bottom lip still trembling in fear as he looks down at Lewis’s bloodstained hand swinging at his side, the hand that killed three of his crewmates. The hand that has and will continue to ruin his life.

“You’re gonna have to say something soon,” Lewis continues when he realises Alex isn’t going to talk to him. He hangs back so they’re walking side by side. “Y’know, you could be next if you don’t cooperate with me.” His tongue wets his lips and he eyes the expression on Alex’s face morph into one of alarm. 

Lewis laughs at his expression.

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you,” Alex whispers as he calms down, shying away from the latter. “You’re a cruel, murderous excuse of a human.”

Lewis laughs again. “Human? Try again.”

Alex blinks in confusion, but before he can question it he’s being dragged by his wrist back into the engine room. The body of Yellow is still slumped against the machine, and the pool of blood around him has significantly increased. _God_ , Alex feels sick. How can Lewis just do all this and not feel any guilt or remorse whatsoever? When Alex looks over at him, Lewis’s fact is just blank, like he doesn’t care or as if it doesn’t affect him. And if he truly doesn’t care, then why?

“You’re going to help me make this room look spotless,” Lewis says, wetting his lips for what seems like the hundredth time, before meeting Alex’s eyes with a tension that doesn’t go unmissed. “Understand?”

Alex just nods, trying to regulate his breathing which is laboured in a higher octave than normal, and his heart is still racing under his layers upon layers of pink clothing. “Yeah.” 

“I’m going to take the body elsewhere,” Lewis says, lifting Yellow’s limp body onto his shoulder. His arm muscles flex unfairly as he straightens up, and Alex despises the fact that he’s still attractive even when he’s done all of this, and is standing beside him covered in a crewmate’s blood. “Don’t go anywhere or you’ll regret it.”

As soon as Lewis has left the room, Alex finds himself sinking down onto the chilly metal floor, knees hitting the ground before he can comprehend his lack of awareness. He isn’t thinking when his own cold hands come to press against his face, and he can feel the wetness of tears escaping from his eyes and around his fingers but no sound comes out, and Alex believes he might be truly broken. How could he get himself into this mess? How could he be so stupid to put all his crewmates lives’ at risk just because he was scared of Lewis?

“What are you doing on the floor?” Lewis asks when Alex hears him come back into the room, footsteps heavy against the ground. Lewis stands over his cowering figure. Alex doesn’t say anything and instead clambers up from the floor, brushing his knees of dust and his eyes of the tears that escaped down his cheeks in salty tracks.

“Don’t cry, angel,” Lewis says. “There’s more to come soon. You can cry then.” 

“You killed Fraser,” Alex breathes, eyes leaking again, and God, he feels pathetic crying to a killer who has no regret and no remorse. “He was my friend.”

Lewis doesn’t say anything, and instead rummages around in a cupboard underneath the reactor until he finds a pair of rubber gloves and throws them in Alex’s direction. “Put them on,” he says firmly.

Alex sniffles. “Why?” Alex notices that the knees of Lewis’s suit are both scuffed and covered in dust from where he’s presumably been hanging out in the vents.

“If you don’t then they’ll see your fingerprints everywhere,” Lewis explains. “So put them on.”

So without complaint, Alex pulls the rubber gloves onto his hands, as the last thing he wants is to be exposed for associating with a murderer. George and Will finding him dead on the floor that evening would ruin their lives, and that’s the last thing that Alex wants to happen, because he cares about them. “Why aren’t you wearing gloves?” Alex asks quietly, leaning up against one of the few counters which aren’t smeared with blood.

“I don’t need to,” Lewis replies. “They won’t find out.” 

“How do you know?” Alex asks. “What if they spot you?”

Lewis laughs at this, wets his lips with his tongue which is too pink for its own good. “You wanna know something, Pink? I trained for twenty-one years of my life to be at the top of my game.” He perches on the edge of the counter, next to Alex. His curls are messed up, all imperfect over his face, and Alex feels disturbed by his sudden longing to reach out and make them neat again. “Where I’m from, I’m the best of all my people. There’s nobody else that could do this job like me.”

Alex feels his heart practically leap to his stomach. “You…you never told me where you were from.”

Lewis shakes his head, curls bouncing. “You wouldn’t know it, darling.”

“Try me.” And Alex’s jaw tightens at the pet-name. God, he hates him.

“Okay.” Lewis folds his arms and raises an eyebrow at Alex. “It’s called Invictus. Happy now, Pink?”

Alex looks at him, knows he’s trying to bullshit him. “You’ve made that up.” He rolls his eyes and hops off the edge of the counter. The blood on the floor practically stares at him from across the room, a disturbing reminder of what the man beside him has just done.

“I’ve been honest with you,” Lewis says. “I’ve never denied being the ‘ _Impostor’.”_ He puts air quotes around the final word as if he deeply despises being referred to as that. “Why would I lie about this?”

Alex doesn’t know, so he just shrugs. Lewis, after lack of a response, gets up from the counter and strolls over to a windowsill. He looks out of it for a second, a familiar arrogant look drifting across his face, before he picks up something from the ledge. A familiar glint of metal. _The knife._ Alex holds his breath in a burst of terror as Lewis walks over towards Alex, brandishing the weapon between long fingers.

“What are you doing?” Alex asks, voice wobbling in fear. Lewis’s unpredictability scares him, and the terror that he’ll one day snap and kill him is what keeps Alex rooted in one spot.

But, _no_.

“Hold the knife, Pink.” And when Alex looks down at it, he realises that it’s not just any old knife, but the knife that Lewis had clearly used to murder Yellow. Streaks of blood encompass the heavy shine of the weapon, and Alex can hardly bear holding it.

“Why?” 

Lewis doesn't waste a breath. “I want you to take it into the dorms and put it in Green’s bedside table,” he says, voice solemn and slightly terrifying. “Understand, Alex?” 

Alex understands, but he’s horrified at the thought of even attempting it. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, mouth slightly agape as he grips onto the bloodied knife with one gloved hand.

“But…” Alex tries. “He’s your friend.”

“ _He_ thinks we’re friends,” Lewis shrugs. He’s clearly not bothered by the prospect of blaming one of his friends for the cold murder of one of the crewmates, and that shakes Alex to his core. “But I don’t care.” If he’s not affected by the idea of that, then what if he suddenly decides to kill Alex?

“I don’t want to do it,” Alex whispers. “I’m not…I’m not that kind of person.”

Lewis purses his lips. “They won’t see you. I turned off the cameras.” 

Alex swallows something heavy in his throat and looks down again at the knife in his hands, twirls it around as if he’s inspecting it. The last thing he wants is for Cam to be blamed for a murder that he didn’t commit, but the thought of defying Lewis is concurrently something he doesn't want to experience. He’s seen the brutal way that Lewis has murdered innocent people who are just trying to do their job. He can’t win either way.

So with a heavy heart, Alex exits the room with Lewis’s knife in one hand and his guilty conscience in the other.

*

Alex doesn’t breathe, he hardly even moves. Rooted to the floor as if he’s been shot, he clamps a hand to his mouth, nails digging into the skin of his cheeks which are paler than they’ve ever been before. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Alex just thought that he’d plant the knife and it would all go away. George stands beside him, lip trembling a little, while Will is standing away from them on the other side of the room, head in his hands.

“You have to listen to me,” Cam begs as Mia and James both strap him into the ejection unit, binding the harsh leather straps around the glass cage. Cam presses his hands desperately against the inside of the glass, tears on his cheeks. “I would never murder somebody. You—you don’t have to do this.”

Mia and James ignore his pleas, grimly continuing to configure the ejection unit. Alex feels his heart sink to his stomach when he notices wetness on Mia’s cheek. She brushes it away as Alex notices, and carries on with what she was doing. 

“Please,” Cam cries, muffled through the heavy-duty glass. “It was planted in my bedside table. I didn’t kill him. I’m not the Impostor.”

But they don’t listen, and make their way over to the control panel on the wall situated by the ejection unit. James is trying his hardest to remain stony-faced, but Mia is crying, tears dribbling down her cheeks as they press various buttons.

“I trusted him,” she weeps, and James does his best to comfort her by wrapping an arm around her quivering shoulder.

And in a crescendo of nothingness, Alex considers it for a fleeting few seconds. He considers telling everybody that it’s Lewis that killed Fraser and Gee and Matty. Lewis that held him at knifepoint. But then he looks across the room at Lewis, who's wearing a convincingly bleak expression on his features. Alex hates him, despises him for forcing him into hiding the knife in Cam’s drawer, hates him for making him into his helpless sidekick, because this is all his fault now. 

Rage seeps red into his veins at the sight of him, and Alex is just about to raise his voice and tell them the entire truth, but then Lewis catches his eye from across the room. He scans Alex, like he often does, tongue wetting his lips, before he raises a finger to his lips, reminding him to keep quiet. And he’s so scared of Lewis that he backs down.

And Alex closes his eyes when Cam is ejected out of the spaceship, because he knows that it’s all his fault.

*

“Alex?” says a voice from the doorway when he’s lying face down on his bed, trying to cry as quietly as he can. “You okay?”

Alex sniffles, before rolling over from where he was pressed against the duvet, cheeks pink and his arms covered in imprints from the sheets. Will stares at him, grubby blue helmet tucked under his arm and his dark hair mussed over his forehead. “What do you want?” Alex sniffles. “Finally remembered I exist?”

Will sighs at this, blue eyes softening. “Look… I’m sorry for ignoring you. I was just being a dick. Can we put it past us, please?” He comes and sits next to Alex on the bed, expression painfully honest. “I was just hurting, Alex. We’re all hurting, especially after today.”

Alex thinks about it, before he’s sitting up in bed. Will looks too sad, eyes downcast and his hands tucked nervously into his lap. Alex hates seeing him like this, because Will’s always been the one who looks after _him_ ever since they began training, and the sight of Will practically breaking down makes Alex terrified. He looks down and notices Will’s hands shaking slightly. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry too.” And then they hug, and Alex has missed the feeling of being around Will, because he makes him feel safe in the best way possible. He wouldn’t have gotten through training if it wasn’t for him. 

But then the door bursts open and George stands in the doorway, too out of breath for his own good. “James wants to call a meeting,” he says gesturing down the corridor behind him. “As soon as possible.”

They rush to the cafeteria, pulling helmets over their heads as they run, Will and George on either side of him as they enter the largest room on the ship. The cafeteria seems cold and empty now there’s only six of them left, and Alex swallows something heavy in his throat when he notices Cam’s absence, a cold and stark reminder of what he's done. What Lewis made him do.

Lewis looks cheerful when they crowd around the table, perched on one of the seats with a long leg hiked up beside him. His helmet lies abandoned on the table, and he’s freshly washed his hair, because it hangs over his face in wet curls. He grins at Alex as they enter, raising his eyebrows before turning back to his conversation with Mia. It clearly means something, because Alex can’t stop thinking about it. 

“Thanks for coming,” James says when they all finally go quiet. “Today was really hard. It was horrible for us all to see somebody revealed as a murderer who we all thought was on our side, but now we’ve caught him, we can focus on continuing with the mission as best as we can.” 

Alex feels guilt shoot into his veins at the mention of Cam. He was an innocent, hard-working crewmate who got on with his tasks at every opportunity, and he died because Alex was a coward who couldn’t stand up to an Impostor.

“Mira HQ have been notified,” James continues. “They’re not too happy at what’s happened, but in order to complete the mission we must continue our tasks.” James is good at public speaking, Alex notes, and thinks that he should do it more often, because he speaks well without being domineering. However, whenever Will speaks to the group, the power tends to go to his head.

Alex looks over at Mia, and practically regrets it, for she’s sporting the emptiest looking expression of any of the remaining crewmates. Her mouth is turned down and she can barely stand upright, but Alex admires her for even showing up to the meeting after losing her two closest friends. She leans on Will’s shoulder and his arm wraps around her hunched frame. Alex is somehow relieved that they still have each other. 

“But, can we all go easy on each other?” James says. “No grudges, no fights. We just need to finish the mission. Can we do that?” The remaining crewmates nod in agreement, and so does Lewis, but he’s staring at Alex the entire time with some sort of look on his face, and there’s something off-putting about the way Lewis makes him feel so exposed with one single look. 

“Any questions? No? Meeting dissolved.” James leaves the cafeteria through the right exit, Will and Mia following behind. George goes off somewhere on his own to the left, and Alex admires the way that he can just get on with things without complaint or argument. Alex constantly wishes that he could be more like him, because there's nobody that made him happier back in the Mira days than George.

Lewis just remains seated at one of the tables, looking up at Alex with a complacent expression on his face. “They didn’t even suspect us,” he comments in a low voice once the cafeteria is empty, stretching long legs out over the chairs. 

“Us?” Alex says incredulously. “I only did what I did so that you wouldn’t…fucking stab me too.”

“Don’t talk so loud, pretty,” Lewis says in a tone that feels entirely too condescending, holding up a finger as if to quieten him. “They’ll hear you in Comms.”

Alex seethes with rage, but doesn’t say anything. He can’t risk anything around Lewis, especially as he knows that he has a knife on him that could easily end up in his throat in less than a second.

Lewis gets up from where he’s sat around the table so he’s standing opposite Alex, still towering over him with way too much height. He’s broad and it’s visible even through the spacesuit that’s covered in dirt in multiple places. “You wanna go and celebrate?” He asks, when he doesn’t receive an answer from Alex. 

Alex looks up at him. He looks good, and it frightens Alex that it’s his only thought. “Celebrate what?”

“That we’re winning, Pink. It’s all going as planned.”

*

Lewis takes him to Navigation, right on the far side of the ship. Alex follows behind gingerly, still cautious of every move that Lewis takes, for any breathe he takes could be the last. Any wrong move that Alex makes could cause a knife to end up in his throat, or a gun pointed to his head. 

The door slides open as they near it, the vacuum seal relaxing as they enter. The room feels heavy and it’s not made any better by being inhabited by a murderer. Lewis turns around from the door and faces him as he stands in the centre of the room. He grins, curls bouncing delightfully over his forehead. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Alex just leans against the doorframe. “I suppose,” he whispers in response, gnawing at the corner of his lip.

Lewis wanders over towards the control pad on the desk, all the buttons that direct the ship, the huge screen that displays their flight path in all its glory. He brushes his fingers over all the controls, sweeps his finger over the screen. “Soon enough, this will all be mine,” Lewis breathes, turns to Alex and throws him a grin, the corner of his lip turning up in a way that makes Alex furious.

“You really think you’ll be able to kill them all?” Alex bites out, feels blood in the inside of his mouth from where he was chewing at his lip. “You know they’ve trained for years.”

Lewis laughs like a maniac, hand dropping from where it was brushed up against the control desk. “That’s funny.” He looks at Alex. “Because it was so easy for me to kill Matty.” He steps closer to Alex. “So easy for me to kill Gee.”

Lewis gets closer again, so much closer that Alex swears he can see specks of green in Lewis’s eyes, a sudden reminder that maybe Lewis has some humanity left inside of him. “…And Fraser,” he continues.

He swallows. Alex feels like he’s dying right then and there.

“And Cam just wasn’t convincing enough to be kept alive, was he?”

Alex doesn’t say a word, Lewis getting so close that he can feel the familiar coolness on his breath. Icy-cold, just like the time that he cornered him in the dorms. He doesn’t move an inch in fear of what Lewis could do. “Nothing to say?” He questions, an eyebrow raised in question. He’s absolutely terrifying in the calmest way possible. “Let’s celebrate.”

He turns away, and Alex lets go of a breath he didn't realise he was holding. There's the clink of a glass as Lewis places it against a counter. He pours something out, hand unnervingly still as the liquid splashes into the glass. _Champagne_. 

“Aren’t… aren’t you going to drink?” Alex whispers when Lewis hands the glass to him, dripping with condensation. Their fingers brush together and Alex nearly flinches at the contact. 

“I don’t drink.”

Alex just takes his answer, looks down at the champagne in the glass, creamy white with bubbles arising at the top of the glass. He swirls it around. “How do I know you haven’t slipped something in it?”

“Now why would I do that?” Lewis says, an almost hurt expression sweeping onto his face that Alex knows is feigned. “I have no reason to.” He sits down in the chair that accompanies the navigation desk, swinging one long leg onto his lap. The soles of his boots are worn down, covered in dust and dirt and probably blood.

“You have many reasons to kill me,” Alex mutters under his breath.

“What was that?” Lewis says sharply, looks right at him, cupping a hand around his ear. 

“Nothing.” Alex practically shudders.

Lewis stands up, head nearly brushing against the low ceiling. His hair’s messy in damp strands over his forehead. “I’ve got some things to do. I’ll see you tomorrow, pretty.” Alex fights the easy reddening of his cheeks at the pet-name. He hates the effect that Lewis has on him with a burning passion, and the way that he can make Alex into whatever he wants. “It’s going to be a great day.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

*

The next day, Alex doesn’t see Lewis. He does his tasks like he’s supposed to. He uploads the data that he forgot to do yesterday, he rejoins the broken wires in security with a concentrated eye. He reconfigures the engine, tries not to think about Yellow’s body previously slumped against the machine. He looks away so he can't think about it, and busies his mind so he doesn’t get bogged down with the guilt that tells him it’s all his fault. Lewis doesn't stop crossing his mind, and he thinks of all the ways that he could’ve avoided him. He should’ve seen the signs in Lewis when he climbed out of the same vent that they found Cyan’s body the next day. 

He tries to not associate the colours with their names because it makes him hurt more, makes him feel guiltier. Yellow was a person, Green was a person, Black was a person, Cyan was a person. But he can't bring himself to say their names because they didn’t deserve it. They were just trying to get on with their work and complete the mission like the rest of them. They weren’t supposed to be pawns in Lewis’s sick little game. The game he got dragged into. 

When he fixes the wires, he realises he’s got wet cheeks, and he can barely see what he’s doing as he closes the wire-box through the tears. He turns around, wipes his cheeks with his gloved hands and puts the pink helmet back atop his head. 

“What’s wrong?”

Alex spins around to face Mia, her eyebrows slanted down in concern as she stands in the doorway. Her suit is freshly washed, or maybe she’s just wearing the additional one, but the stark white of it is jarring to Alex’s eyes regardless. 

“Sorry,” Alex says. “Didn’t realise you were here.”

“No—” Mia says. “Talk to me, please.” She’s too nice for her own good, and Alex hates the fact that he’s practically responsible for her sadness. The cavernous void in her chest where Cam and Gee were is because of him. He could say something, he could tell her right now that it’s all Lewis. She’d sprint to call a meeting, she’d yell over the intercom to stay away from Lewis. They’d be prepared. But then Lewis would have them all by their throats before they could even think about ejecting him. There would be no way that they could drag a six-foot three man down the stairs to the basement and eject him without some sort of scuffle. Plus, Lewis has a knife. 

So Alex doesn’t mention it. “Just…didn’t expect this mission to turn out like this,” he says, and it’s not a lie. But it’s an omission of the truth, and the honesty in her brown eyes hurts. “You didn’t deserve to lose them, Mia. I’m so sorry.” The guilt stabs at his heart as he says it.

Her eyes become glassy and her bottom lip shudders. “Yeah, I’m not doing great either,” she says, looking at the metal floor.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex asks, lays a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Mia takes off her helmet and wipes her eyes, before giving him the remains of a smile. “It’s okay.” She tries to make herself look presentable, but Alex knows she’s breaking inside and that’s what stabs at Alex’s gut like a knife. “I just came here to look for Will. I wanted to say goodnight to him before I head to the dorms.”

“I haven’t seen him,” Alex says, still downcast. “I could look for him and tell him where you are.” He wipes down the surface of the counter from the dust that fell out of the wire-box, before smoothing down his suit. 

Mia smiles at this, watery-eyed but sincere nonetheless. “Thank you. Can you tell him I’m in dorms?”

Alex nods, tells her it’s all fine and he’ll let Will know. She leaves the room, all grateful smiles and big doe eyes, and Alex hates everything that he’s done to her. He hates the fact that he’s too scared to tell her, too hesitant of how Lewis will react. 

He leaves Electrical after he’s done in there, lets the door shut behind him. He can feel himself getting sweaty under the heavy layers of the suit and the even heavier materials that make it up. He thinks about taking his helmet off because the air on The Skeld is breathable, but the reminder that overexposure to it can be fatal without a helmet and oxygen supply stops him from doing so.

He makes his way back down the corridor, sticking his head in the door of each room to check whether Will is in there, maybe finishing off a task. Maybe he’s got headphones in and can’t hear anyone over the intercom system. He’s one of the smartest people Alex knows, but Will is sometimes absolutely useless.

When he reaches the end of the corridor, he can see Lewis leaning up against a wall outside Comms, a foot kicked up against the wall, all relaxed and at ease. Alex swallows at the image. 

“Evening, Pink,” Lewis says, all beaming smiles and crinkled-eyes. He’s not wearing his matching lime gloves, and Alex can see he’s painted his nails black, although they’re chipping slightly. He’s being strange, and Alex frowns at the intonation and attempts to move past him in the hallway, attempts to stick his head into Comms to check if Will is in there.

Lewis places a warning hand on his arm. “I wouldn’t, darling,” he says, hazel eyes boring into Alex’s blue.

“What?”

He shuffles around. “It’s a bit…” Alex notices Lewis lift his hand and wipe a speck of what looks like blood from the back of his wrist. “Messy.” At that moment, Lewis looks up from where he’s tending to his blood-speckled wrist and meets Alex’s eye with a haunting gaze. 

And Alex’s heart drops, mind racing at all of the possibilities that it could end up being. “ _What did you do?”_ He asks in a trembling breath, in a whisper that hardly carries. 

He doesn’t even think or process anything before he’s bolting to the door of Comms, Lewis quick behind him. Alex doesn’t need to confirm it, he just sees a flash of blue lying sprawled in front of the computer before he can feel Lewis pushing him away from the door, propelling him from the awful sight of the body. 

Alex’s jaw drops to the floor, and suddenly the rest of his body follows, hands coming up to claw at his face as it dawns on him that what he saw would never leave his brain, ever. His back hits the wall, and Lewis is still gripping at him, holding him back from seeing it, and Alex just finds himself screaming.

“You monster!” Alex fights against Lewis’s heavy grip. “You fucking monster!” He screeches, voice probably carrying down all the corridors by now, but it’s the least of Alex’s worries if everyone comes running. If Lewis wants to kill him, then he should go ahead. 

“I told you today was going to be a good day—” Lewis says, corner of his mouth quirking up, and Alex knows at that moment that Lewis is clinically insane. He’s a psychopath who needs to be locked behind bars for all of eternity.

“He was my best fucking friend!” Alex howls, punching at Lewis’s chest, but tears blur his vision so he can hardly even see. “I can’t fucking believe…” Tears soak his suit, turning it from bright pink to strips of deep burgundy. 

“Alex, this will be easier if you’re calm—” 

“Fuck you!” He howls, teeth gritted. In his tear-filled rage, Alex doesn’t notice the syringe in Lewis’s hand. “You’re a psychopath!”

The sharp pain in his leg silences the yelling, and he sharply turns to the direction of the pain, throbbing and endless against the muscle of his thigh. He blinks up at Lewis, holding the syringe and extracted needle in one hand. It’s so quiet and all Alex can hear is his own breathing, too loud and insistent in his head. “What’s…” He can feel himself panicking. “What have you done?”

Lewis doesn’t say anything for a good few seconds, just looks at him and then looks down at the syringe. “Doing what’s best,” Lewis finally mutters, and that’s the final thing Alex hears before his vision goes static and he feels himself slump onto the floor into darkness.

*

Lewis thinks that Alex is beautiful when he’s sleeping. 

He looks almost like an angel, too-long fringe fanning around his head as he lies there perfectly. His eyes, while shut, expose dark eyelashes, too long to be masculine. Lewis can hardly wait for him to wake up, practically aching for his cerulean eyes to meet Lewis’s hazel. But then he reminds himself that Alex needed to be sleeping while this was happening, otherwise, he’d have been problematic and would’ve ruined all of Lewis’s perfectly thought-out plans. _Humans always are too emotional,_ Lewis thinks, and winces at the thought. _They always say too much and feel too much._

He still doesn’t know why he kept Alex alive. He was too irritating and too naive, and after first sight, he despised Alex and his stupid pretty face. Everything about the crewmate in pink should’ve alerted Lewis to kill him first, as he would’ve been so gorgeous all covered in blood. It was almost a shame. Lewis tuts to himself. _That was his first mistake._

But something about Alex and his naivety was endearing to Lewis, a feeling which he’d never felt before. It wasn’t in his code, it wasn’t written into his DNA to give a damn about anybody, let alone a _human._ His upbringing was lined in a single phrase that was slapped onto every advertisement and every hallway: _“Prioritise the kill.”_ And Lewis felt he was pretty good at sticking to that rule. He had never considered keeping a human alive until now. 

He hates to think about what the Leaders would say to him on his return. They’d probably banish him to the Carcerem before he could even get out of the spacecraft. The Leaders hadn’t submitted anyone to hijack a Skeld mission since 1998, and Lewis was supposed to be their best shot. 

Alex shuffles slightly in his sleep, and Lewis knows that he’s bound to wake up soon. The dosage of the drug he’d given to Alex, namely _propofol_ , would only keep him knocked out for an hour or so. That was enough time for Lewis to do what he’d needed to do since the mission began: end the mission.

Lewis reaches a hand out to run through Alex’s soft hair, clearly freshly washed that morning. He uses gentle fingers, a motion he’s not used to, to comb through the locks, and Lewis doesn’t think that he’s ever used a tender hand in his life.

“I did all this for you,” Lewis whispers to Alex’s sleeping body in the emptiness of the medbay. “I could’ve easily killed you first.” He brushes the ghost of a hand down Alex’s cheek, cups the pink of his skin. “But you’re different.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, of course. 

But a few minutes later, the sleeping boy’s eyes twitch and crack open, a sudden cacophony of blue exploding into Lewis’s vision. With squinting eyes at the bright lights, Alex looks around, notices he’s tucked into the crisp white sheets of the medbay. 

“Why am I…in the medbay?” Alex asks, voice hoarse from his sleep. He looks confused at the situation, blinks up at Lewis all timid. And for a blinking second, Lewis almost regrets dragging him into this. He could’ve just made Alex his first kill and none of this would’ve ever happened.

Lewis smiles at him, leans over and strokes his hair again, but this time Alex’s eyes are open, unblinkingly pure. “It’s all over, Alex.”

Alex frowns at this. “What?” He questions, and tries to move the bedsheets so that he can clamber out of bed, but Lewis lays a warning hand on his arm, gentle.

“Don’t try and move,” Lewis says as sweetly as he can manage. “You’ll still be drowsy from the propofol.”

Alex squints a little, and it’s endearing to Lewis how his nose scrunches concurrently in the most endearing way possible. “Propofol?”

Lewis sighs, leans forward towards Alex’s bedside and rests an elbow on his knee. “They’re all gone, Alex. I told you today was going to be a good day.”

“Who’s gone?”

Lewis tuts at him. Alex doesn’t remember, and it’s probably for the best, but Lewis despises how naive and stupid he is. With every murmured question, Lewis wishes he’d killed him first even more. “Your friends. Everyone,” Lewis breathes, reaches out a hand to stroke Alex’s hair, still mussed from his helmet that he was wearing hours ago. “Isn’t this great?”

Alex’s bottom lip quivers. “What?” He questions in barely a whisper, the corners of his mouth turning down. “Are you…telling the truth?” 

Lewis nods, smiles a little. “Everyone.”

_Mia was one of the easiest crewmates to kill. It was necessary for her to be first because she was looking for Will, and it would break her heart and her sanity to see him dead on the floor of Communications. In retrospect, he was probably doing her a favour by ending it all for her, because past and current events would’ve probably caused her to develop PTSD. She held up a strong fight for a few minutes, but eventually succumbed to the tightening hand around her neck and before Lewis knew it, she was unconscious on the floor._

“Please,” Alex whimpers, eyes filling with tears. He’s clearly too weak to move, so he just lies there as Lewis leans over and runs his fingers through his hair. “You’re lying.”

Lewis smiles at this. “I’ve never lied to you.”

_James was the hardest to kill, as the man was six foot four and built like a brick wall. They rolled around for minutes on the loose metal floor, Lewis brandishing his knife with a sadistic grin and James trying to grab the weapon at every opportunity. Granted, it was harder to kill him than anybody else, but the satisfaction that climbed into his veins when James stopped fighting back was positively unbeaten._

_And once James was dead, that meant that there was only one more crewmate to kill. And that would be easy._

“Why…did you murder Will?” Alex breathes, cheeks soaked and eyes shining with tears that won’t stop dribbling down his cheeks. He’s beautiful, and Lewis nearly thinks about kissing the tears away, kissing down his neck until he arched his back…

“Will was annoying,” Lewis says simply. “He talked too much. I guess he had it coming.”

“He wasn’t annoying,” Alex weeps, too weak to hit him but Lewis knows he wants to, hand balled into a fist at his side. “He protected me.”

Lewis grits his teeth. “ _I_ can protect you,” he bites out, hatred towards the deceased flowing through his veins. “I’ve trained my entire life.”

Alex stares at the ceiling, pillow wet from his tears, his cheeks shining pink and damp. He’s still pretty like that, but he doesn’t answer Lewis’s proposition. “Did you kill George?” He sobs, almost breaking down as he asks it. _Goddamn fucking George,_ Lewis thinks. He’s dead and still the centre of Alex’s fucking world. 

_George always walked around by himself, silly boy. He was different to Will in the sense that he knew how to get things done, whereas Will was all talk and no walk. But still, Lewis hated George more than words could explain. Hated him more than Will, more than James, more than anybody on the entire ship. Lewis hated the way that George would walk into a room and Alex’s eyes would light up. Hated the way Alex would cry on George’s shoulder when the days were too long._

_Lewis had never felt so eager to kill when word got around that Alex and George used to sleep with each other back in their training days. Lewis seethed, and remembers plotting the exact way that he would kill George so that it would hurt him as much as possible._

_And it was easy to kill him, it turned out. George had a habit of visiting Electrical on his own, which made him an easy target in itself, as part of the room was hidden behind a desk which made it effortless for somebody to climb through the vents without being spotted. George was so naive, and he would whistle to himself as he joined wires, and as he uploaded data to the system. If Lewis had any compassion inside his hollow shell, he would probably feel a little guilty. But Lewis’s brain was hardwired to kill._

“Yes, I did,” Lewis responds, and nearly grins at the way Alex covers his face with his hands. “It was easy, too. He said your name a lot, and he kept crying about how he never got to tell you he loved you. What a foolish little man. It’s such a shame that he’s dead.”

And Alex finally breaks down, still weak as he lies in the covers like a tragic angel, ruddy-cheeked and snivelling. “Kill me,” he sobs. “Put the fucking knife in my neck,” He cranes his head back to demonstrate, exposing the beautiful hollow of his neck that Lewis swallows at. God, if his instincts weren’t screaming at him to kill right now, then he’d most definitely mark up the milky skin. It’s practically calling to him.

“You know I could easily do it,” Lewis warns. “Is that really what you want?”

“Yes,” Alex cries. “You killed him because he loved me.”

“If you’re sure,” Lewis says, heart galloping at the thought of finally having a reason to end it all for Alex. He reaches under the bed, hand grasping around the smooth red handle of the knife. It makes a metallic noise as it’s dragged from the floor. He’d missed the feeling of holding a knife to Alex’s neck. It’s been months since that day in the dorms where Alex confronted him for the first time. 

The knife is sparklingly clean, as Lewis had spent a good ten minutes washing it in one of the sinks until it shone like a mirror, reflecting the light as he held it up to a lamp. It was perfect for someone.

“Do it,” Alex begs, tear-tracks almost pathetic on his cheeks, and Lewis considers wiping them away, but waves the thought to the back of his mind. 

Lewis leans over Alex on the bed, presses the knife up to his throat. He sees Alex’s eyes widen, sees his hands grip the sheets a little tighter. His bottom lip quivers like it often does when he’s nervous, conflicted, scared. It’s endearing to Lewis. 

“Cold, hm?” Lewis says, voice barely a whisper in the deafening silence of the medbay. He wants to kill Alex, he really does. He can imagine him all pretty and bleeding on the medbay floor. Then he’d have the ship to himself, anyway. But there’s something about Alex that Lewis can’t pinpoint, and it’s stopping him from pressing the hard edge of the knife into Alex’s skin.

Alex nods, alarmed, and then places his hand over Lewis’s on the handle of the knife, gripping over Lewis’s longer fingers as if to direct him. “Please.” He looks up at Lewis with big eyes, those blue cornflower eyes that Lewis can’t resist. They remind him of Earth and the years he spent there for his training, learning how to fit into a normal human dynamic. “Do it.”

Lewis almost scoffs at this. He grins fiendishly down at Alex, the smaller boy’s eyes blown wide and his hair still haloed around his angelic face. “I bet you’re getting off on this, aren’t you, angel? Your life being in my hands.”

Alex grits his teeth together, a burst of confidence appearing to overcome him. “Shut up. You’re just a coward who can’t kill me because you’re scared—”

Lewis isn’t scared. He’s just battling with his genetic make-up, his DNA which is screaming at him from all corners of his mind to kill Alex, to press the knife into his neck. He can hear his teachers, from when he was a youngling back at Invictus, yelling, _‘Kill, Kill, Kill.”_ He can almost see the other trainees who didn’t make it onto a mission watching his every move. And Lewis knows that he has to kill Alex. 

“I’m not scared, you brainless little excuse of a human,” Lewis seethes, knife tightening against Alex’s skin, and he knows there’ll be a mark there later, regardless of whether he dies or not. “Being scared isn’t in my DNA.”

“Well, you’re a coward for not killing me by now. It’s your job, isn’t it? To kill me?” Alex tightens his fingers over Lewis’s. He’s taunting him with words, trying to get him to crack. Lewis knows Alex doesn’t really want to die, especially with that blown-out look in his eye. Lewis knows that it means something else entirely.

“Fucking _brat_ ,” Lewis hisses, knife falling from between his fingers and clattering onto the floor with a sharp metallic sound. “What am I going to _do_ with you?” The sound makes Alex jump, but before he can even react, Lewis grips him, grabs him by his shirt and harshly presses their lips together, cold and insistent, just how Lewis likes it. Alex’s breath is warm, human-warm. He’s warm all over, soft like a girl, delicate like an angel.

And before he knows it or can even gauge Alex’s reaction, Lewis finds himself breaking apart with an exhale, pulling away from Alex and his dizzying warmth and swiftly leaving the medbay, wiping his lip as he exits. _God, he’s fucked up._ But Lewis has other stuff to be doing anyway, like ejecting the final bodies from the spacecraft so that Alex doesn’t see. 

_Lewis hasn’t ever wanted someone in the way he craves Alex._

*

Alex doesn’t move for a long time. 

He’s still weak from the drugs, heart pounding in his chest as he hears Lewis exit down the corridor, boot-clad feet heavy on the floor. Alex exhales, reaches a shaking hand up to press reminiscent fingers against his lips, trying to capture the feeling of Lewis kissing him again, the feeling of Lewis gripping his shirt. 

He doesn’t get up for a while, just lies tucked under the medbay bedsheets until he feels well enough to sit up in bed. His head spins as he looks around. 

The eerie silence of the spacecraft is terrifying to Alex, and he cups a hand over his mouth to sob quietly as he remembers that everybody is gone. Everybody who Alex trained with is dead, and he’s never going to see them again because they’re floating in space. It’s just him and whatever Lewis is. 

He knows the people back down at Mira HQ despise him now. Even if he were to end up back on Earth again, he’d be fired within seconds of stepping from the spacecraft. He’s probably on the news for being the worst crewmate to ever be on The Skeld. He’ll be talked about in hushed tones for _siding with the Impostor,_ and nobody will ever want to be Pink again because of him. He’s ruined all future Pinks because he’s a traitor. 

Alex cries when he thinks of his friends, because they’d be alive if he wasn’t such a coward.

*

Alex stands in the doorway of Navigation. Lewis hasn’t noticed him and continues to work at the desk, looking at the flight path monitor, adjusting the direction of the steering. Alex wants to know why he kissed him, why he’s done all of this. He wants answers. It’s been days.

Lewis isn’t wearing his suit anymore and is instead wearing a grey t-shirt and some joggers with holes at the knees. He looks handsome and Alex hates having that thought about someone who ruined his life, his career, murdered his friends. 

Lewis doesn’t even turn around when he answers. It’s almost like he knows he’s watching. “Can I help you?” He asks in somewhat of a dismissive tone, carrying on with his work. 

Alex shuffles in the doorway. “I want to know why you kissed me.”

Lewis pauses for a second, his hand held stationary from where he was working on something. But instead of replying, he just continues with what he was doing, eyebrows pressed a little tighter together in concentration and maybe frustration. 

“You know you’ll get sick if you don’t wear the suit, right?” Alex adds, nodding at Lewis’s lack of a suit. “The oxygen levels aren’t safe enough to be out without a suit.” 

Lewis laughs and finally meets Alex’s eyes. “You’re soft in the head sometimes, Alex,” he says, shaking his head. “I don’t get sick.”

“Why?” Alex grits his teeth at the comment. 

Lewis smiles, and turns around in his chair, leaning forward on his hands. “I told you I was from a place called Invictus.” He looks up at Alex through hazel eyes, too honest to even belong to such a cruel, dishonest person. “It’s a planet…far from here.”

And suddenly it all makes sense. Lewis declining the champagne, turning down the joint. It explains his remarkable reflexes and constant cold breath. Aliens are cold-blooded, and Lewis was one all along. And when Alex meets his eyes again, Alex can suddenly see it. He’s too handsome to be one of their own. Nothing about Lewis is even real.

“But…why come here?” Alex asks, leaning against the wall as if to steady himself. He feels a little dizzy at the thought of Lewis not being from Earth. “What’s the goal?”

“The human race is a disease,” Lewis bites out. “You spend too much time hating each other for absolutely no reason, meanwhile you’re killing the planet and killing every species of animal, so we just thought we’d do you a favour and kill as many people as we could.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, but gapes at Lewis’s explanation.

“And then,” Lewis adds. “Once everyone is gone, we all use the spacecrafts we’ve collected from the astronauts and fly with them to Earth and turn it into a better place.” At that, he turns back around to the desk, and presses a few buttons on the flight radar. “Understand?” There’s a firmness to his voice that settles in Alex’s stomach. He doesn’t like it.

“Yeah,” he swallows. 

“I did all this for you, you know,” Lewis says, piecing something together on the desk. “This whole thing. I knew it from the second I saw you, Alex.”

Alex fights reddening cheeks and grits his teeth to stop him from _feeling._ “So tell me why you kissed me,” he repeats, holding eye contact with the taller man.

At his remark, Lewis leans back against the desk, and Alex thinks it’s strange that he’s finally able to see his full body which has always been hidden under the almost garish lime-green suit previously. He’s objectively good looking, nice arms, and Alex feels like he has to look away. “Because you’re pretty,” Lewis says, shrugging. His gaze boring into Alex’s makes him feel red hot, like he’s burning up. “I’ve always thought that.”

Alex grits his teeth in some pointless effort to stop his cheeks flushing red, because there’s no way that he can let Lewis’s words affect him, especially after everything that he’s done. But it’s just so hard, especially when he’s smiling down at him like that. 

“You have?” Alex questions, voice soft as if there’s someone else on the ship who could hear them, even though he knows Lewis killed them all. His heart still sinks when he thinks about George and Will being gone. 

Lewis is closer now, only a foot or two away as he studies Alex, eyes wandering his face like he wants to figure him out, get an explanation for something. Burning under his gaze like a fourteen-year-old with a crush, Alex knows he’s absolutely fucked. 

“You know, I failed my mission because of you,” Lewis says almost breathlessly. “I’ll lose all of my credibility back at home because I didn’t kill you.” 

He feels his heart jump when a hand comes up to ghost against the side of Alex’s face, too gentle for the hand to even belong to Lewis, but he knows that it’s him. 

“You think you didn’t fuck up my mission too?” Alex says, almost tearing up. Lewis fucked up everything that Alex could’ve ever been happy about, but still manages to weave his way into his mind at all times. “You ruined everything, Lewis.” 

It frustrates Alex that Lewis doesn’t even try to sympathise. He just grins again, cocky and self-assured, like he knows the effect he has on him. “C’mon, you know I can’t help it, baby,” he says, and that word alone stirs something deep in Alex’s gut. “Don’t be like that.” 

Lewis’s hand moves down to the side of his neck, hand smooth and cool against his skin, and Alex barely suppresses a shiver before Lewis is wetting his lip, eyeing him again like he’s a museum exhibit. Alex doesn’t say a thing, but he hates the way his cheeks go red, hates the way he wants nothing more than to be close to Lewis even after killing all of his friends.

“You’re prettier when you’re quiet,” Lewis muses. “I should’ve killed you.” And it’s quiet in Navigation when Lewis slides one hand into Alex’s soft hair, the other cupping his chin, and then crushes their lips together, forceful as Lewis so often is, but there’s a gentleness to him that satisfies Alex’s craving. Their first kiss was urgent, but Lewis is taking his time now, every move thoughtful rather than impulsive.

When Alex starts to kiss back, Lewis grips him tighter, big hand dropping to his hip and squeezing, heady and rough. Alex knows it’s wrong to kiss him, wrong to want him as he’s nothing but a killer. But his thoughts flutter away as Lewis begins to mouth down his throat, cold breath lifting the hairs on the back of his neck. He hates that Lewis is annoyingly _good_ at this. 

His back hits the wall before he knows it, and Lewis is breaking away from Alex’s throat to whisper: “You’re my weakness, you know.”

“I know,” Alex breathes, twisting his neck back so that Lewis has more access, more space to bruise him. “And you didn’t kill me because you liked me too much.”

Lewis shakes his head, a glint in his eye. “Shut up.” And he’s pushing Alex over towards the control desk, hands insistently pushing him down onto the table, face smushed against the screen. He leans down to hiss into Alex’s ear, breath as icy as ever. “We’ll be a good partnership.” It sends a shiver down Alex’s spine. “We’ll run this ship together, okay?”

Alex doesn’t respond, because he doesn’t think he can, especially in the compromising position that Lewis has got him in.

He feels Lewis press up against his ass, the strong hand between his shoulder-blades keeping him bent over the table. “Answer my question.” 

“Yes,” Alex blurts out, voice too high and too loud. It’s something he’s used to, voice slipping into its upper octave when he’s scared, or nervous, or turned on. Alex doesn’t know which is which. He also can’t understand how Lewis is making him feel like this, making him want something bad. Lewis makes him crave the absolute worst, and it’s terrifying. 

Alex can see the curve of Lewis’s bicep out of the corner of his eye as he leans down again, bitingly close to the shell of his ear. “Good,” he says lowly. “What do you want?” The feeling of Lewis being so close to him sends shivers down Alex’s spine. Part of him wants to relive the infinite feeling of kissing Lewis again, but the moan rising in his throat reminds him that this is an alternative he can get behind. 

“Lewis,” Alex breathes, unable to put his thoughts into words, face burning in part-embarrassment, part need. He wants something, but he can’t bring himself to say it. 

Then Lewis yanks him up from where he was pressed against the desk and spins him around so they’re within an inch of each others’ faces. Lewis could just lean down and kiss him again, but he doesn’t, and instead taunts Alex with the distance. “You want me to make you feel good?”

“Yeah,” Alex swallows, almost breathlessly. 

Lewis leans down and kisses him again as if Alex might break apart in his arms, kisses the sensitive spot of his jawline, which makes him squirm under his grip. “Perfect.”

It’s a palaver for Alex to remove his garishly pink suit due to all the zips, buckles, buttons that accompany it. But by the time Alex has stepped out of the heavy layers, he’s shivering due to the temperature of the room, standing against the desk in just a faded pink shirt and the shorts he slept in last night. He feels silly and insignificant next to Lewis in all his golden, winter-sun glory.

Alex knows that if he’s out of the suit for long enough, he’ll get sick, but yet again he prioritises the moment he’s in rather than long-term effects.

Lewis is eyeing him, teeth biting his lower lip as he steps towards Alex, and before he knows it, he’s sinking into another kiss, cupping the side of his face like he’s precious. “You’re smaller than the suit makes you look,” Lewis says, hand spanning practically the entirety of his back. “I reckon I could push you around and make you take it.”

Alex whimpers. “Lewis, you can’t just say that.” He feels stupid, begging like this, but he’s overcome by want and need and desire, and something red-hot, burning in the pit of his stomach. He can’t help that he needs it. 

Lewis presses a leg between Alex’s thighs, grins sadistically at the reddening of his cheeks as Alex feels himself grow hard. “Poor thing. I suppose you want me to get you off now. Is that right?”

Alex almost jerks his hips up, lips parted in a breathless whine. _God, there’s nothing he wants more than for Lewis to touch him._ “Stop teasing.” 

Surprisingly, Lewis takes notice of this, and before Alex can even think to breathe, Lewis’s hand darts under the waistband of his shorts and takes hold of him. His strokes start slow and Alex knows he’s clearly doing it on purpose to make Alex even more eager. More desperate for the slightest touch. He whines and he can feel himself shaking, but Lewis pressing him into the desk leaves no room for movement. 

“Fuck, _angel_ ,” Lewis says, voice low at the shell of his ear. He’s leaving cold-lipped kisses down the side of his neck, hand bracing against his nape for some kind of stability as his strokes get faster. “Doing so well.”

Alex’s broken whines get louder as he looks down at Lewis getting him off, the sight of his big hands and ringed fingers wrapped around his cock making him slightly dizzy. “I’m being good?” He asks in between the noises escaping his mouth. 

“Yeah,” Lewis breathes. “Always so good for me, hm?”

Alex chokes out a want-laced sob as he feels himself getting embarrassingly close to orgasm. “You’re gonna make me cum if you talk like that,” he whispers, hoping that Lewis can’t see how close he’s getting.

Lewis just throws him a lazy grin, hazel eyes boring into his own. “That’s the aim, is it not, sweetheart?” Those words alone make him crazy, and Alex wants to kiss him senseless.

Alex’s head falls back as Lewis grips around him a little tighter, free hand suspiciously close to circling around the dainty skin of his throat, thumbing over the mark he’d left days ago in the medbay. That mark would go away, but the thought of Lewis hovering over him wouldn’t.

“Do it,” Alex mumbles, words strangled in his chest. “Make me dizzy, please.” 

With the hand around his cock quickening expertly, Lewis’s free hand slides from his nape to encircle his throat, Lewis’s hands cool against his jittering skin. Something flashes in Lewis’s eyes as his hand tightens around his throat and squeezes. Alex knows his instincts are probably battling with his head.

“Fuck,” Lewis breathes, and the way he’s leaning over Alex with his curls messy over his forehead is going to send Alex to an early grave. “You close?”

Alex nods, head falling back. 

When Alex comes, he burns with desire as the peak of his orgasm takes over every part of his body. Lewis’s hand slides from his neck and grips around his hip as he builds speed with his other hand. Alex knows he’s reached it when he feels his eyes roll back, his body shakes with need, want, urgency. His heart pounds underneath his shirt, and his back arches from where he was leaning his weight against the desk. 

“ _Pretty,”_ Lewis whispers when Alex collapses onto him. “ _You’re fucking perfect.”_

*

Alex pads down the corridor in his socks, metal creaking faintly underfoot, but nowhere near as loud as when he used to wear the boots they supplied them with in training. He’s in an oversized shirt that probably belongs to Lewis and a pair of shorts he stole from the supply room. He doesn’t wear his suit anymore because Lewis had mixed up medication in the lab that would give him immunity from the side-effects of the exposure to the air. It was nicer anyway to feel the breeze on his arms when the air-conditioning turned on. And it was easier to see Lewis’s face without their visors getting in the way.

On the way to Navigation, he walks past a rack on the wall that displays eight space-suits in a familiar array of colours. _The suits that belonged to the crewmates_. Lewis had suggested that they hang them up in a way to remember the people that were dead, and Alex found it strange and slightly unsettling that Lewis wanted to remember people that he’d murdered, but disagreeing with anything that Lewis said never ended well, so he’d located the spare suits from the supply room and then hung them up on a rack. It took him all day.

He takes a lingering look at the suit on the far right as he walks past, garishly orange and scuffed at the knees where George would so often kneel on the dirty floor of Electrical to do his tasks. A few weeks ago, he would probably have broken down in tears at just the sight of George’s uniform, but he feels strangely calm as he runs a hand over the synthetic material, reminiscent of gripping George’s hand when they were scared back in training.

He thinks about how George loved him, and it’s strange, because Alex doesn’t feel anything at all. _It’s because of the medication,_ Alex thinks. _Lewis could’ve mixed anything up in it._ But something inside of him doesn’t even care. He supposes that being drugged is better than being dead.

“You came.” Lewis grins at him from down the corridor, leaning against the doorway of Navigation. “Was starting to wonder where you were.” The light from Navigation surrounds his silhouette, and he looks ethereal, but Alex waves the thought away from his mind.

“Yeah,” Alex says. He wanders down the corridor into Navigation, where Lewis grips hold of him and presses a kiss to his too-pink lips the second he gets through the doorway. 

And he fights a blush as Lewis sets him upright, because even though they’ve been messing around on the boundary between friends and lovers for weeks now, his infatuation with Lewis still feels like the childhood crush on the popular boy that all the girls were told to avoid because he was bad news.

“You called me in here?” Alex questions, looking down at the control desk which is looking suitably more lively than it used to. It practically lights up with all the different buttons that Lewis has presumably turned on. The flight path looks drastically different as well. The arrow used to direct them gently to the left, but now it was taking them through intricate twists and turns. 

“Ah, yes, I did,” Lewis says, grinning. “Close your eyes.”

Alex looks at him in confusion and surprise for a few seconds, but Lewis nods at him in certainty, so Alex smiles and then feels his eyes flutter shut. He can hear Lewis messing around with a few buttons, can hear something whirring from in front of him. And then he hears Lewis get up from where he was seated at the desk. He comes to stand next to him, the eerie coolness of his body reminding Alex of his presence. 

A hand lays against his hip. “You can open them.”

Alex does.

Lewis has uncovered the front windows of Navigation. The horizon of a vast peak grows dark and huge, plentiful in its expanse and Alex doesn’t know what to say, because it’s nothing that he’s ever seen before. It takes up the entirety of the front windows, glowing like a beacon against the nothingness of the atmosphere. It’s almost beautiful, but Alex can’t comprehend it because they never learned anything about this when he was studying astronomy.

“What…” Alex tries, but he can’t finish his sentence. 

Lewis seems pleased with his reaction. “What do you think of it?” 

“What is it?” The planet casts a golden glow over them as they stand, tiny and meaningless in the cockpit of their spacecraft. Suddenly Lewis isn’t the most otherworldly thing that he’s ever seen, because whatever this place is makes him feel insignificant.

Lewis doesn’t look at him, just turns to admire it, golden and black and red casting over his features. “That’s my home. That’s Invictus.”

Alex gapes, turns to look at it again. He can barely look away, for there’s something about the way it radiates golden warmth that’s so captivating to Alex. “Are we…going there?”

Lewis nods, wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him into his chest. “That’s right.”

“I thought you said that they hated you—” Alex tries, confused. He’s still daunted by the sheer presence of Invictus as they draw closer to it. Alex used to think that The Skeld was the biggest thing he’d ever seen, but just the sight of this planet makes him lose his mind.

“Well,” Lewis says, and he leans over and presses a few buttons on the desk, one of them causing a loud hum to erupt throughout the floor. The same hum that Alex heard when they launched. He can almost feel Will next to him, comforting him that the mission would go well. It’s almost laughable now. “I may have sweet-talked the Leaders into letting you stay here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I reckon you’re a proper celebrity down there now,” Lewis says. “You’ll be the first human that they’ve ever seen.”

*

Lewis and Alex stand in front of the doors, hands laced together, anticipating them to open, revealing them to the population of the planet. 

“How long has it been since you’ve been back here?” Alex asks. 

“Three years,” Lewis breathes, seeming to suddenly realise the length of it himself. “I spent a long time on Earth to perfect my craft. Everyone here was counting on me to complete the mission, and I guess I fucked that up for them.” He almost looks regretful at this, and Alex has to stop himself from feeling guilty. 

“Well, they seem excited to see us,” Alex notes, looking through a small window and noticing a huge crowd of people gathered outside the spacecraft. Some of them are even holding up banners with unintelligible words scribbled hastily across. Alex prays, to whatever God these people believe in, that they like him.

He hears the whirring of the doors as they prepare to open, and his heart begins to race beneath his chest. Lewis grips his hand a little tighter, gives him a reassuring look that Alex hopes means that everything is going to be okay. He’s never going to get his crewmates back, everyone on Earth probably despises him for knowing about Lewis and not telling anyone, but the people of Invictus have taken him in, so he’s going to do everything in his power to make sure that he’s liked and appreciated in this new place.

“Ready?” Lewis asks, eyes alight like fire. He’s home.

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave a comment and kudos if u enjoyed!


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